you look cute when you are angry

Your attempts to get through to me

Are like waves

Crashing on a huge cliff

Useless
They will never penetrate the cliff

Years of

Having my anger

Thought of as

"Cute"

To be pacified

By chocolates 

And compliments

And not with solutions
Or even a hint of
My point taken seriously

Has had the unexpected effect

Of hardening me

Teaching me to strategize

And find the best way

To get it across

I feel bad for you
Even though it was you
Who pushed me to my limits

(Yes, water,

no matter how gentle

can erode rock

after concerted effort of centuries

But you don't even have

One single lifetime)

After every end

I just grow stronger

The bad ones give me

A thirst to prove them wrong

Right after the guy

Who called me fat

Left me forever

I set out to prove

How pretty i was

And the good ones

Leave me with strength

Of a warm afterglow

"I have loved

And i have been

Loved back"

I just leap

From strength to strength

If it had been a story

I would not have believed it

But then

Fiction has to make sense

Truth doesn't

best for me

sometimes when it is
what is best for me
versus
what i want

i would rather
you tell me
i should do
anything i want
even if it is
not exactly
what you think
is best for me
(even if
what you think
is best for me
actually is
best for me.
especially if.)

flying colors

in complete contrast to
the tragic hero
who gets blamed for everything
that is not his fault

i
the heroine of farce
come out with flying colors
even when i act wicked

but a farce
on a cosmic scale
is also a tragedy
of some sorts

Relentless circle

I remember a time

When i wanted to be free of u

And explore the world

Scoffed at anyone

Who was overly attached

To relationships of force

And now 

Perhaps i am grown old

For i cannot think of

Life without you

Exploring the world

Pushing the frontiers

Holds no attraction

Unless you are by my side

And i forget

You are just coming of age

And it is your turn 

To "explore the world"

in denial

trying to fill the void
of what left
and trying to convince yourself
that you are happy

"one love" - my mermaid

She

is smart and vivacious

funny and loving,

When I see her,

a happy feeling spreads from my eyes

to my mouth, making me smile

to the bottom of my stomach,

making me feel warm

my mermaid she is

the woman i will never have

for she feels not even a drop

of what i feel

If she had been a man

I would have been so confused

Is he the one?

Is he the love of my life?

Should I put all my eggs in this basket?

If I do and he breaks them, will I ever recover?

What kind of father will he be?

Do I really want children that look and talk like him?

Does he do the dishes at home?

Will he if I ask him to?

Will he ask me to make tea when his friends come visiting?

Because she isn't a man,
I don't have to worry about
if she is "the one"
I don't have to look for everything
in the same person

I can see my feelings for her
as exactly what it is
a bundle of affection
with no strings attached

No one is perfect
And I don't have to reject her
Or forget her
because she doesn't meet my ideals
And isn't "the one"

I can simply
Enjoy her company
Be happy for her smiles
And continue to wish her well
From wherever I am

Instead of bogging us down with
questions
expectations
disappointments

And that is the way it should be!