पूरा सपना

बाल्यकालमै भनौं एउटी केटीले
आँखाबाट झरेको परेली टिपेर
कलिलो मनको एउटै मात्रै
ईच्छाको भारी त्यसलाई बोकाएर
फू गरेर उडाइदिएकी थिई

आकांक्षाहरु भारी भएता पनि
उसको मन शायद चंगा थियो
र त्यो परेली उड्दै गएर
उसको अभिष्ट पूरा गरेरै छोड्यो

तर केटीलाई के थाहा
पूरा भएको एउटा लालसाले
उसको जिन्दगी अधुरो बनाउनेछ

किनकी त्यो उसको सपना मात्रै थिएन
दुइ हात जोडेर नतमस्तक भएर
उसले मागेकी थिइ एउटा वरदान
संसारका सबै शक्तिहरुसँग
र राखेकी थिई एउटा शर्त
यति पूरा भएमा जिन्दगीमा
अरु केही माग्ने छैन

उसलाई के थाहा जिन्दगीमा
त्यस्ता अभिलाषा त कति आउँछन्

कति त यति बलवान हुन्छन् नि
ती ईच्छा मात्रै भनिंदैनन्,
भाग्यरेखा झैं  बनेर उसलाई डोर्याउँछन् ।
कुनै अनजान समुद्रको आँधीले
उसलाई उचाालेर पछारिरहँदा
उ कामना गर्नेछे एउटा त्यान्द्रोको
जसलाई समातेर उ किनारा लाग्न सकोस्।

तर त्यो प्रबल जिजिविषालाई जोगाउन
अब उ माग्न सक्दिन कुनै शक्तिसँग केही

किनकी जिन्दगीको
आदि अन्त्य त्यसैलाई ठानेर
उसले आफ्नो पहिलो वरदान
मागिसकेकी छे
र पूरा भएको त्यही याचना नै
उसको अन्तिम हुनेछ

र अब उसले पुकारा गर्ने
कुनै देउता पनि त बाँकी छैन

She followed

She followed a man here
Into this desolate place
She followed a man here
And then she lost him

A man who perhaps knows
That she followed

Perhaps she is a little
More than slightly mad
To follow a man here
Who forgot about her

But then
She followed a poet here
And poetry floods her life
In this desolate place
That she followed him to

we

when they received
a birthday gift

for either one
(months apart)
they thanked their givers
as a unit
"we have never had
something so pretty"
in vain the giver will
try to convince them
that the gift is for
one person to enjoy alone,
they had pooled
their resources forever,
and now took each other's
permission at every occasion

I stay,

They dance in a rhythm
That the body knows as if on its own
Because it is so easy to learn,
So intuitive
And they dance it slow, slow
So slow that it is not even a dance
Nobody would want to watch it on stage
But they don't care who is watching
They dance for the rhythm
Letting the body feel it and sway with it
They dance for the company
Linking their arms with the next person
And they dance it slow
Becaue they don't want to be tired
Even after hours of dancing
Gaining reassurance 
Of their place in the world
As the night draws to a close
Gaining a love that will
For ever after run in their veins
And most importantly,
Gaining roots
Which there is no other way to gain

And they sing songs
Songs that say everything there is to say
not a word out of place
and not a feeling missed
perfected from generations of practice
encapsulating all the wisdom
all the guidance
you might need at any point in life
all the love
you believe you are
the only person to discover
all the sorrow
that life surprises you with
all the perspective
to deal with it

I shiver

it is the only time i feel alive

and then i cry silent tears
because we are losing it all
first of all,
losing the emotional intensity
that waits for these songs
that draws from these songs
to last all year
we don't need it any more
we have other things to occupy us
entertain and guide us
and that is everything
that we lose

Why did i never hear before
A song that says
That when you plant a short sheaf of rice
It grows to look like a horse's tail
And then it grows as yellow
As the gold ring in your nose
When did i stop needing
To know how beautifully
My food grows
How come my heart
Was never clenched
By how goddesses too felt sad
To leave their mother's home
How come i never asked my sister
How we would meet this year
And how many children she had 
After we last met
And tell her how much i care for her,
Enough to give up my child for her

How come i never ever heard these songs?

And then i cry because
It might be the last time i hear it

Any time i hear one of these songs
Is the last time it might be heard on earth

preoccupations

the redeeming power of love
the dread at small talk
the struggle with communication,
especially professional
the coming to terms with grief
the concern that i do it to soon
the barrier around secrets
the resentment at limitations

just a few of my preoccupations
that i think are newly discovered
every day

but looking back at my poems
show they have been here forever
and are perhaps at my core

You were enough

Now I look back and see that
I wrote so little
when you were beside me

And even those
were of not much
quality, intensity
or even length

Another proof
That I didn't need anything
Not even the vent of poetry
When I had you

battle of

we always find ways
to make it a battle of
us against the world

the lonely versus the families
the queers versus the cisgenders
the islanders versus the mainlanders
the rootless versus the rooted

and I who am so comfortable ensconed
in everything the world has to offer
also find a way to say
me versus the patriarchy

and those lucky few who are
at the top of the pyramid
will find ways to invert it all
and wow us to boot with
the sad drunk versus the unfeeling world