My pact with god

Give him what he wants,

I said to god.

And i will ask no more of you.

Ever again.

Perhaps it was a test 

Of my forbearance

That he did get what he wanted.

But i did not get him

Despite wasting on him

A lifetime's worth of wishes

Only now 

After years of trying to find detours

To asking for wishes

(And failing,

Because there are no loopholes

To a condition so specifically worded)

Did i find you

Who offered to give me

The feelings

God did not

So what if i cannot

Ask anything of god

I can ask of you

For any number of wishes

No choice

My life is a gaping hole without you

But you are nowhere near enough for me

attraction to the dark triad

can you dismiss a feeling away
by giving it a medical tag?
does it affect how you feel
if you are told it is a disorder?
does it make you feel any less
if you are told it was contrived?
does it reduce your intensity
because someone dissects and explains it
with a bell chart where you are on the extreme?

chalk and chesse. kiss and eggs.

they say the first kiss
tells you all about your love
they say you can tell
from your first kiss
how the relationship will go,
all the way to eternity

tn that case,
a kiss is not a kiss
but a basket of eggs.
all the eggs you've got

what if
the one who gives you
kisses like thunder
and hatches all your eggs
proceeds to kill all your chicken
and leave
damn i wish i had
saved a couple of eggs
because it takes a long long time
to gather them again

the kiss makes you feel all lukewarm
and you smash all the eggs yourself
but lukewarmth could have given you,
lets say, omelets instead of chickens
which you like, but not as much as chicken
what if
that is the one that grows and grows
and gives you delicious egg curry
by the end of the year
damn i wish i hadn't
smashed my eggs and left

i think i'll set aside
most of my eggs
for the really important stuff
and give to a kiss
only one egg at a time

Facing tragedy at a young age

The scale of the effect 

An event can have on you,

Specially minor tragedies,

Is suddenly reduced

Facing tragedy at a young age

May be damaging

It makes you numb

When most people around you

Are overwhelmed

But in other words

It's also called growing up

You just do it a little ealier

After losing love

When i decided never

To love anyone

That i would be afraid to lose

It was strangely liberating

Because 

Now i was not afraid of losing

So i could love

With all the more abandon

The effects of being unloved

The strange mixture 

Of callousness and oversensitivity

When you cannot bring yourself

To say anythin kind

To the people who matter

And yet

The smallest gesture of affection

On yourself

Or on complete strangers

Or even in books or movies

Moves you to tears

- after reading The Reader

The fire in some women

Even after years of

Marriage and domesticity

She looks

Like her own person