Still not healed

Where you hurt me

A friendship

More intimate than
Several relationships
Put together

So little to hold on to

In the stormy seas

Only the memory
Of your kind words

Mesmerized

The decadent colors of fall
Seem even more lush
Iridescent and magical
From your eyes

More so now that i fear
It may be a pleasure
Too guilty to indulge

Taking forever

To get over
The one
That didn't happen

Lavish

It was as if a rushing river had routed itself through my house, which was pervaded now by a freshwater scent and the awareness of something lavish, natural, and breathtaking always moving nearby.

- Lincoln in the bardo

How to barren

Have a smile on your face
At all times

Do not rise to any bait
Of insult, sarcasm and likewise
And when you answer,
Remember to keep it neutral
Not necessarily your clothes and makeup
But your tone and expressions
No matter what inferno
Is raging inside

In other words,
Fix your face
Before you turn around
To face anyone else
Make sure none of the anger
And resentment
That you are free to indulge
In privacy
is seeping out of
The corner of your eyes
Or the tilt of your lips

Fix your voice,
Lower the high pitch
That screams frustration
Modulate the volume
Take off the sharp edges
That hint at derision

And then apply the same to your mind

If you had time,
You could watch the bubbles of thought
Form and burst in your mind,
Without reacting
But for now, simply
Focus on the task at hand
List them out, not just in a pad
But also in your mind
Get to them, one by one
And don't think of anything else
Before you finish
(And with good planning,
you don't finish before the day finishes)

When someone wants to
Switch your list around
Or just batter it altogether
And give you a new one
Let them, because
Life is short and
You have to choose your battles
With care
And this battle is not yours
(Nor is any other)

And if you are good at it
Your list will be so long
That you will have no time
For anything else
(If you do find time,
You will make yourself
A cup of the best masala tea,
And not do anything else,
Guaranteed)
But still if you do find time,
Fix all those thoughts
Put them over, under,
Outside the boundaries
Of your list of tasks
Which is the only thing
You should have time for

So that you will fall
Into a deep sleep
The moment your head
Touches the pilllow

In some higher beings
Capable of much sacrifice
Or generosity of spirit
This could be called grace

But in an ordinary mortal
This is just the way to a heart
Barren as desert

Kathmandu

All the peeping
Back  biting
Boundary overstepping
And stuffiness
Of a small,
Tight knit community

And none of its warmth

Except

That time of life when
Everyone you ever loved
Cones back into the fold

Except the one you want

The one you don't get over

That thing they say
About your happiness
Not depending on one person
And about putting it behind
Getting on with youur life
Living it to the fullest
And happiness and fulfillment
Will come to you

The thing they say
That i live by
Or used to

That thing they say
Just does not apply
To the one person
You meet only once in a lifetime
Who sparks stars in your soul

Nothing in between

That severe kind of beauty
In a woman
That either makes it
To the top of the world
On a ramp
Or languishes
As the least popular,
Defeated place
On the rung