warm

waking up several times
in the night and thinking
this is such a warm place
warm, warm, so warm
such a safe palce
where is this?
so warm
where am i?
such a warm place....

तीस वर्ष

भनिन्छ तासमा जित्ने मान्छे प्रेममा हार्छ।

र सानैदेखि एक रुपैंया बोट राखेर तीनपत्ती खेल्दा समेत सयौं रुपैंया हात पार्ने मेरो सन्दर्भमा यो भनाई साँचो ठहरियो।

तर जीवनले मानिसलाई अनेक किसिमले कम्पेन्सेट गर्दोरहेछ, र मेरो जीवनमा त्यो कम्पेनसेसन कामको रुपमा आउँथ्यो। अर्थात तीस वर्षको उमेरमा अरु मानिसको जीवनको आउने घरायसी व्यस्तता मेरो जीवनमा कामको व्यस्तता बनेर आयो।

मलाई धेरै ठाउँबाट कामको प्रस्ताव आउँथ्यो, कतिपय सजिला, रमाइला वा पैसा कमाउन सकिने काम। यो देखेर मलाई खुशी नै लाग्थ्यो र जिन्दगीले मलाई जे दिएको छ त्यसको सदुपयोग गर्ने प्रयास गर्थें।

तर कतिपय कामका प्रस्ताव भने यती अजीबका हुन्थे कि जिन्दगीले मलाई किन ओभर कम्पेन्सेट गरिरहेछ भनेर म हैरान हुन्थें।

सोचेर ल्याउँदा यो प्रकृया म सानै हुँदा शुरु भएको रहेछ। दस कक्षामा पढ्दा मेरी मिल्ने साथीले भन्थिनः हामी पछि गएर वीमेन्स् म्यागजिन निकाल्नुपर्छ है। वीमेन्स् म्यागजीनहरु निकै रमाएर पढ्ने म पनि उनको सारमा सार मिलाएर भन्थेंः भैहाल्छ नि!

तर जीवनको त्यो प्रडक्टिभ मोडमा म लागें विदेशतिर र उनी लागिन् घरजम गर्न। झण्डै चार वर्ष पछि म फर्किँदा परिस्थिति बदलिसकेको थियो। बजारमा नारी मात्रै होइन वाउ र नव्यता लगायतका थुप्रै पत्रिका आइसकेका थिए। र मेरी साथी मसँग हल्का रिसाइन, समयमै पत्रिका निकालेको भए हामी यी सबै भन्दा अगाडि हुन्थ्यौं भनेर। तर खासमा मलाई लेख्न मात्रै मन लाग्थ्यो र पत्रिका चलाउने प्रशासनिक काममा पटक्कै रुची थिएन। र मैले लामो सास फेरेर यो आइडियालाई बिदा दिएँ।


त्यसपछि जागीर खोज्ने सिलसिलामा मलाई एउटा अचम्मको प्रस्ताव आयो जुन म र मेरा दिदीबहिनी अझैसम्म सम्झिन्छौं। एउटा नयाँ पायोनियर टाइपको न्यूज वेबसाइट खोल्ने जसमा समाचार मात्रै होइन विश्लेषण पनि होस्। यो वेबसाइट कस्तो हुन्छ भन्ने छलफल गर्न यो समूहलाई झण्डै हप्तैपिच्छे भेटियो। तर आखिरमा यो समूह कुनै निश्कर्षमा पुग्न सकेन र अहिले "एक पत्रकार एक अनलाइन"को समयमा समेत खासै निश्कर्षमा पुग्न सकेको जस्तो सुनिएन।

एउटा पत्रिकामा जागीर खान थालिसकेपछि एकदिन मलाई भेट्न एकजना मानिस आए। तपाईंको अंग्रेजी राम्रो छ रे। हामीसंग मिलेर अंग्रेजी तालीम दिनुहुन्छ? उनले सोधे।

अंग्रेजी राम्रो भए पनि म सिकाउन सक्दिन र पढाउन त मनै लाग्दैन भनेर मैले उनलाई बताएँ र अंग्रेजी सिकाउने संस्थामै जाने सल्लाह दिएँ। तर उनी भने नसुनेझैं गरी निकै हतारिएर भन्दैथिएः अंग्रेजी मात्रै होइन मान्छेहरुलाई व्यवहार पनि सिकाउन पर्यो। जस्तै विदेश जाँदा कस्तो व्यवहार गर्ने। कस्तो मान्छेलाई कसरी सम्बोधन गर्ने। कुटनीतिक प्रोटोकोल अनुसार कसलाई के भनेर बोलाउने.. यो सब कुराहरु कहाँ अंग्रेजी सिकाउने संस्थाले सिकाउँछ र?

मैले आत्तिएर भनेंः यो सब त मलाई पनि आउँदैन नि। तपाईं पूर्व कुटनीतिज्ञहरुलाई सोध्नोस्  न।

उनीहरुलाई झन् के आउला र? भनेर उनी मुख बिगार्दै गए। तिनको भेञ्चर कहाँ पुग्यो, त्यसको प्रगति पनि मलाई थाहा छैन।

र यसैगरी जागीर खाँदाखाँदै पनि तिम्रो जागीरले के पुग्ला र? यसको कुनै लङटर्म भविष्य छैन। बरु यस्तो काम गर न.... भनेर थुप्रै अफर आउँथे। एकजना विदेशी निकै नै हितैषी साथी हुनुहुन्थ्यो बुवाको। र वहाँले भन्नुभो छोरी, यो सब छोडिदेउ। लामो लिगेसी हुने काम गर। नेपालको विश्वविद्यालय र कोरियासँग सम्नवय गर्ने संस्था खोल। स्टुडेण्ट एक्स्चेञ्च प्रोगामहरु चलाउ र शिक्षक पनि साटफेर गर। कल्चरल  एक्स्चेञ्चको भविष्य राम्रो छ है!

व्यस्थापनमा फिटिक्कै रुची नभएकी म यो सुनेरै आत्तिइसकेकी थिएँ, त्यसमाथि उहाँले थप्नुभोः तर त्यसको लागि पहिले दुई वर्ष कोरियन भाषा सिकेर पोख्त होउ है!

नयाँ संस्था खोल्ने मात्रै होइन पुरानो संस्था बिउँताउने अफरको पनि कुनै कमी छैन। मनपर्ने लेखकहरुको एउटा समूह थियो, जसले निकै राम्रा रचना बेलाबेलामा निकालिरहन्थ्यो। यो समूह अहिले कहाँ गयो भनेर सामान्य खोजी गर्दा अचानक टिप्पणी आयोः तिमी आफूलाई बिरानो नठान न। यो तिम्रै समूह हो नि। भएजति मान्छेलाई भेला गर, हप्तामा एउटा छलफल गर र समूह अगाडि बढाउ!

त्यसबेला मलाई थाहा थिएन, यस्ता डिफंक्ट भएका संस्था र समूहलाई धेरै पछिसम्म पनि बिउँताउन मिल्छ। एकदिन एउटा कार्यक्रममा एकजना सुशील भद्र महिला भेट भइन् र आफ‍्नो कार्ड थमाइन्, कुनै हस्तकला संस्थाकी संस्थापक रहिछन् उनी। नेटवर्किङ गर्ने मौका यही हो भन्दै मैले पनि आफ्नो कार्ड दिएँ। म पत्रकार हुँ भन्ने थाहा पाएपछि उनले अझै विनम्र बन्दै भनिनः एकपटक मलाई भेट्न आउनुस् न, हामी संगै काम गर्न सक्छौं कि?

मैले सोचें उनले मलाई राइटिङ असान्मेण्ट दिन्छिन् होला, र त्यसरी फ्रिलान्स काम गर्न म सधैं उत्सुक रहन्छु।

भोलिपल्ट लामो र घुमाउरो बाटो तय गरेर उनलाई भेट्न गएँ। पाटनको एउटा शान्त गल्लीमा थुप्रै महिलालाई सहयोग गर्ने गरी उनीहरुका उत्पादनको सुन्दर शोकेस। मैले हेरिसकेपछि उनी भन्न थालिनः एउटा पत्रिका छ। अठार वर्ष अघि बन्द भइसकेको। मैले त्यसको राइट्स किनेकी छु। त्यसलाई रिभाइभ गर्न मन छ। हामी मिलेर गरौं। कला र संस्कृति सम्बन्धी पत्रकारिता गरौं।

र फेरी पनि सिंगै पत्रिका रिभाइभ गर्ने व्यवस्थापकीय काम गर्न म तयार थिइन। उनी डिभाइन लजिक लगाउन थालिन्। सबै कुराको एकअर्कासंग सम्बन्ध हुन्छ। यो ब्रह्माण्डमा कुनै पनि घटना केही न केही कारणले नै हुन्छ। त्यो कार्यक्रममा मैले अरु कसैसंग पनि बोलिन, तपाईंसंग मात्रै बोलें। यसको केही न केही कारण होला। यो भाग्यले जुराएको भेटघाट हो। हामी सँगै काम गर्नै पर्छ।

तर ब्रह्माण्डको उद्देश्य त्यो थियो भन्ने मलाई लागेन, र मैले बिदा मागें।

हुन त ब्रह्माण्ड अचम्म अचम्म तरिकाले काम गर्छ, र मलाई एकपटक मेक्सिकन टिभीमा काम गर्ने मौका पनि जुराएको थियो। भूकम्पको रिपोर्टिङ गर्न आएकी एक महिलाले मलाई तुरुन्तै रिक्रुट गरिन् र म पनि अचम्भित र उत्साहित भएर टिभी रिपोर्टिङ सिक्न थालें। ती महिला नेपालमै हुञ्जेल त केही समस्या थिएन, तर उनी गएपछि भने मलाई असाइन्मेण्ट एकदन र्याण्डमली आउँथ्यो। कहिले बिहानै, कहिले बेलुका र धेरैजसो तुरुन्तै गर भनेर। अरु बेला मैले कुरा गर्न खोज्दा वा पैसा कहिले पाउँछु भन्दा अगडमबगडम जवाफ पाउँथें, जस्तै किः अंग्रेजी बिहान जान्न मान्छे मान्छी सकिन्न सम्पर्क भरे प्रयास गरें। आखिर निकै पछि मैले थाहा पाएँ त्यहाँ अंग्रेजी जान्ने मानिस कम रहेछन् र स्पेनिसलाई गुगल ट्रान्स्लेट गरेर मसँग बोल्ने रहेछन्, र त्यसको व्याकरण सधैं बिग्रेको हुने रहेछ।

पैसा माग्दा बारम्बार त्यस्तै जवाफ आएपछि मैले अल्टिमेटम दिएँः पैसा नआइ अरु काम गर्दिन भनेर। गुगल ट्रान्स्लेटे उनीहरुलाई 'काम गर्दिन' मात्रै बताए जस्तो छ, र पैसा तिरेपछि उनीहरुले नयाँ काम लगाउन छोड‌े। शायद राम्रै भयो, सधैं गुगल ट्रान्स्लेटबाट संवाद सम्भव हुँदैनथ्यो।

र अजीबका अफर आउने क्रम अझ‍ै पनि जारी छ। भर्खरै मेरी एकजना साथीले मलाई कुकिङ/बुकिङ शो होस्ट गर्ने अफर गरेकी छिन्। अर्थात एउटा खाना पकाउने, एउटा बुक रिभ्यु गर्ने र त्यो सब भिडियो क्यामेरामा कैद गर्ने। मेरी साथीले यसमा पैसा पनि इन्भेष्ट गर्ने भएकी छिन्। तर यो शो कसले खिच्नेछ, कसले निर्देशन  गर्नेछ, कति लामो हुनेछ,कहाँ देखाइनेछ र यसबाट कसरी पैसा कमाइनेछ भन्ने निर्क्यौल भने भएको छैन। र म गम खाँदै छु। के यही हो मौका मैले जीवनका अचम्मका प्रस्तावहरुलाई स्वीकार गर्न थाल्ने?

faith connundrums

If there is an all powerful god,
why is there so much suffering in the world,
I often asked

She said it is to test us
So that we grow stronger through adversity

And what of those who have no way out
Maybe those who suffer life long
held under torture, jailed for no reason
beat up every day, no where to go
what of those?

Of you must fit in a certain category
to be tried and tested, was her answer
I stopped arguing the futile arguement
with one who was blind

but then i thought to myself as I often did
why is there suffering, if there is a god

some might say god is punishing us
but if god is so nasty,
why should i have faith in such a one

some might say it is all about karma
that what you did in your previous life
is coming around to you

i scoffed at this one all through childhood
but now i see that in some ways it is not far from the truth
all matter is recycled into other lives
for no matter is destroyed, and all our bodies
are made of millions of lives before us
this body has been through the entire rigmarole
from plants to microbes to birds to horses
and ti is indeed a blessing, a one in million
to have this sentient life
and this, science cannot disprove

and then one person asked me
(non hindu, and i will not disclose what he was)
what if you are not a hindu?
what if you don't believe in this stuff?
what about karma then.
i wanted to laugh out loud
this is not about what you believe
 this is a scientific fact
a self-evident one, at that
that all matter is recycled into other lives

but i did not laugh at him
for that rebirth theory leaves unanswered
the question of how your past sins and good deeds
attach to you
through the soul, the theorists would say
but then i m this scientific person who thinks
the mind, heart and soul are all different parts of the brain
so no, there could be no such separate entity as a soul
that accumulates your karma
or retains the memory of what you did as a microbe
you were a million microbes, for god's sake
and a part of a million birds, probably

so no, I do still not believe that our suffering
is caused by our previous sins
the Buddhists would say it comes from attachment
and I would say all these theories are ignoring the
social structures that foist suffering on us
which are responsible for most of it
for concentrating power, establishing hegemonies
and renouncing attachment would only entrench the structures
and at least for most of us who are not naturally renunciate,we would not want to renounce attachment and live like robots anyways
and it would be better to seek the end of suffering not within but without
try to change what causes the suffering, address social structures

but that sociological discussion we will keep for later
and for now, return to the theological one
and think of what holds faith together
despite all the logic against it
(insights from recent trips, to be continued
at time of more mental spiritual energy)

Lirazel

This One was always the Good one
Calm, well behaved,
Happy to be happy
Restful at rest, playful at play
When that One was scary
Angry, always,
Impossible to handle
To be left alone, wrathful

But Now this one has Almost wilted
In Its silent grief
While that One rages and wails in protest

A fire rages around it
All day and night
Scalding burning hot
So Much that i wonder
How i stay unburnt

Little strings of electricity
Sizzle and sting and gather in it
(I am reminded of
The king of Elflands daughter
Where Ziroonderel harvested
Lightenings from where They had fallen
And become buried under the earth
She dug and mined
All the thunderbts
And made a weapon out of it
I would like to think it was a vajra
Even though it was an English book)

How Will anyone harvest
My Lightening shocks
And what Will i make of
The harvest, i wonder

Fracked

A lady who loves books and words
Says We have lost knowledge of words
We may have learnt many new words
From technology or internet
But these are not words
That have any layers of meanings
Modem for example or #ootd
We r not Going to write
Any poems about them
Unlike the words We lost
Which described layered feelings
And generations of knowledge
And obscure, exotic items

I could say for example
That my Cup is drained empty
And They say you cannot
Pour from an empty cup

I could say my soul is destroyed
By fracking
Mining deeply and abruptly
For What is not there

But that Does not make for
Great poetry

Precious

Everything is So precious
When you decide to lose it
When you decide you won't
See it every day

So heartbreakingly precious
Because you cannot have it

Maybe that's How Its
Meant to be
Because Plenty is
Mundanity

Graha dasha

The planets
Are arrayed against me

(That's my version of
When i came to)

All i wanted

Was a little strength
So that i could be kind
And the universe
Denied me even that

Shock

And her nails
Grew out with
Deep, broad ridges
All the way across
All the fingers

That for several years
She did not understand

And Then One day She read
That shock leads to
Deep horizontal bands on nails

In her case it was
The shock of recognition
Of something She had
Known all along
But did not dare face

And later She Would check
Her fingers every So often
To look for traces of grief

Many a time She found
The telltale signs
In her thumb which seemed
The most receptive

But Never again So pervasive
And Never again So deep...

Tonight i dreamt of keys

It Shall come to you
When you are ready for it

"Losing keys may mean you are experiencing much frustration in waking life. Lost keys may also represent feeling lost or feeling a loss of control, power or authority in some aspect of life."

"If you lose a key, this is the omen of a period of "life" that is coming to an end."

"Keys are powerful symbols in any story. They symbolize opening and closing powers."

"A key in a dream can also portend personality development and spiritual growth. Usually, there is a secret, a mysterious situation in your life, and you are looking for solutions; this is when the key appears in your dream."

Towards warmth

I Would have sent

These little tendrils at you

Moving towards some warmth

but Then i remember

I have troubled you enough

enough, enough, with my woes

When your plate is already full

and so the little tendrils
I let them shrink and wilt
unless they are fortunate
and get splayed on to a page

the long winter

i thought the winter
when it rained and rained and rained
and we walked with sloshing water in our shoes
was the worst

and then i thought the winter
when there was no gas and no heat
and no petrol and we walked and cycled
and we got bone tired every day
frustrated with haggling the daily necessities
and going to sleep crying with frustration
i thought that was the worst winter of all

and then i thought the winter
when i piled on stress and ate to curb
and then piled on fat in layers of layers
i thought that was the worst

how wrong i was
when the worst was yet to come
worse than all of them put together

Of food and dreams

One fine day I learnt that
you never really eat in dreams
You might dream a lot of food
but then you are usually
either thinking of it
or seeing it or smelling it
or about to eat it

and sometimes,
you may have already eaten it

but no, you never actually
taste or chew or swallow
the food in your dreams

and then i went frantic
thinking back to all the food dreams
and yes, it was true
juicy, fact berries
i remember handing them to a friend
heavenly bakeries
i remember smelling them

and then i was frantic again
wondering why even in dreams
i should be longing
but not fulfilled

but then of course,
you dream these dreams
because you long
because food is everything
that is good in life
that is missing, that you want
that is warm, that is filling

you dream these dreams
because you yearn

and if you were already fulfilled
you would not
dream these dreams in the first place

brith

like a baby coming out of the womb
soft, mushy, secure
the trauma of the harsh world of solidity

like lyra ans will's daemons
cut off from their souls
wandering, lost, sad, angry

painful, and yet utterly necessary
for life, for growth, for revival
against stagnation, against, decay,
against atrophy, against suffocation

but so, so, so unbearably painful

all this emptiness

that food must fill
even if it tastes like cardboard

The gaze

I wonder about all the
"objectification of women"
in the media

If you go back to the years
before capitalistic media
i.e. tv, print, advertisements

you will still find
women are so central
to all the literature
that's been written

on the one hand,
is it so bad?
since it shows how central a woman is
to a man's thoughts, ideas, dreams,
self worth, fulfillment
that his entire life revolves around her

there are so many layers of responses to this
on would imagine that
woman has been objectified in literature
because men have been writing
(almost) all of it
and that if women wrote more
than we would have had more of
objectified men too

but then what women did write
(now that it has been
a couple of hundred years)
does not really conform to the idea
in fact, from jane austen to Toni Morrison
women are central to what women write
but women as full personalities
complexities, histories, feelings,
and not just women as objects

proving what virginia woolf
said long, long ago
that if women wrote more,
men would realize
that they are not at the center of women's live
as they imagine themselves to be

a sort of power imbalance here

so in fact if women wrote more
we would see not more of objectified men
but more of a well rounded pictures
of women's worlds

and the problem with the male gaze
is not that it is there
because, how fair would it be
to ask men to stop writing
what they feel?
how they think of women?
if a woman is central to their life
in a sexual way
is it fair to ask them to refrain from it?
wouldn't that lead to
bottling and frustration for them?
how in the world are they going to
write about or picturise
women in neutral, asexual rules?
and actually that would be as unrealistic
as blatant objectification

what we need of course is for men
to write about women
as complete, wholesome
fully developed persons
sexual, and in control of their sexuality
and not just a pair of breasts

(see I don't subscribe to the idea
that there should be less or no
sexual portrayals of women
or that women should be portrayed in
neutral or asexual ways only
i just think women's protrayal
should be more realistic
sexy and sexual, on top (pun unintended)
of everything else that she can do
and these portrayals should take
women's agency into account,
not just her body)

but since that's not happening
any time in the foreseeable future
(many men have done it successfully, for sure
but then even more so have
never grown out of their adolescent fantasies)

what we need is more women writing
for the balance and the perspective
so that we can see
not just wholesome, interesting, intriguing
fleshed out (pun unintended) women
but also that our assumptions
about what is in women''s minds
what women want and think about
are proven wrong

Dead

You may still say the same things
So no one will know its not you
But then your heart is not aflutter

You might have wanted to
collect all your thoughts all in one place
get agitated until it spews out of you like lava

Now you look at it and think,
the world goes on, what can i do?


The last time it happened, it cut your heart
into two pieces and you bled from your eyes
And now you know that's what's going to happen
You think, I will just get out of here
 I will not cry, I will hold it all in
And how do you not cry, how do you hold it in?
The only way is it kill your heart

And it is how you die, step by step

You may still say the same things
So no one will know its not you

You will still paste the same
pasty smile on your face
in fact you will smile all the more
Your patience with nonsense
surprising even yourself

And they will not notice
that your eyes do not smile

And so you become
the exact thing you alays despised
and thought would save yourself from
jaded

Rashmi

When I first read her
I thought she was being sarcastic
about how red became her entire life
and she lost her self in this new life

And then I read again
and saw how she had embraced red
That red was the color of life, and love
And that losing herself in it
Was her choice, her joy

And from within this red
came her revolution

One can only imagine
That the red revolution
would be full of love
which is what red meant to her

She who didn't compromise on anything
any little part of her femininity
to be a trailblazer
to ride a cycle when no one else did
To wear trousers, to be public
To have opinions, to fight for freedom

She did it all, and yet love
meant more to her than any of these

अविरल वर्षा

ती दिनहरु जब तिमीले

साँचेर राख्थ्यौ पलहरु

तिम्रो अन्तरआत्मालाई सुवासित बनाउने

एउटा न्यानो क्षण

वा तिम्रो शरीर काम्ने गरी अतालिने

डरलाग्दो घटना

साँचेका ती पलहरु तिमी दिनको अन्त्यमा

बाँड्थ्यौ कसैसँग जसले तिमीलाई बुझ्छ

र तिम्रो मनले चाहेको प्रतिकृया दिन्छ

वा तिमी लेख्थ्यौ लामा चिठीहरु

कथाभित्र कथाले भरिएका

किनकी तिम्रो मनलाई जेले छुन्छ

त्यो उनीसँग बाँड्न नपाएमा

तिमी बाँच्दै बाँच्दैन थियौ

ती दिनहरु सकिए

र ती मानिसहरु अब छैनन्

र घण्टौंको वर्षातपछि थकित धरती जस्तै

तिमीले पनि कुनै घटनालाई

आफूभित्र सोस्ने क्षमता गुमाइसकेकि छौ

वीर र श्रृंगार

हास्य र करुणा

विभत्स र अद्भूत

तिम्रो जीवनमा बर्सिन्छन्

र तिम्रो कतै राख्ने ठाउँ नहुँदा

तिमीमा एक रती पनि छाप नबसाइ

त्यसै बगेर जान्छन्

तिमी एक निमेष पनि

त्यसको अवलोकन गर्न रोकिन्नौ

र त्यसले तिमीमा केही परिवर्तन ल्याउँदैन

तिमी त “ओहो” पनि भन्न सक्दिनौ

र टाढैबाट हेर्छौ, तृष्णा र भाव शून्य

तर तिमीलाई थाहा छ

मनमा भावना भएसम्म मात्रै

तिमी जीवित छौ

To care

You want to be free
to be casual

But then the freedom outside
does not matter
if you are caged inside

if you think you are not the person
who can be casual
if you place a high value
on that human-made high value
called love

if you have always longed for
true love
whatever that means for you
at one particular age

You think you are free
You think your choices reflect you

You think he is bound
To his stultifying ideas of manhood
sports, bikes, action movies
make fun of romances....

And you are just as bound
to what you think is "true love"

And you, the seld-aware one
You choose your own bindings
You do not want to let go
You still hope, despite the dystopian worlds
You still believe in caring for one

And casualness
is just a fleeting casual idea
in your life
you were made to care
and care and care
until you bleed
for one person

Safe

Safe is what I want to feel
To know that I won't be hurt
To know that I can pour
and it will be received
To know that I can disintegrate
and will be held
To know that I can bleed
and it will not be
gathered for ammunition
To know that I can rest
and will not be attacked
To know that I can gather my breath
and take my next leap
To know I need not
be agitated on my way
go to sleep with tears
or wake up with a migraine

Safe
Safe is all I need

furies

आफ्नो  शहरका साँघुरा गल्लीहरु चहार्नु
साँघुरो ठाउँ र साँघुरा मनहरुबाट निसास्सिनु

र जानु धेरै टाढा स्वतन्त्रताको खोजीमा
अनि थाहा पाउनु कि तिम्रो नयाँ परीधि
त तिम्रो पुरानो शहर भन्दा पनि साँघुरो रहेछ

नयाँ शहर जति फराकिलो भए पनि
तिमी त तिम्रो मन भित्र नै बाँच्ने रहेछौ 

जति टाढा गएपनि मनलाई त साथै लान्छौ ?
आत्माको सोचाई र विगतका भोगाई कहाँ छाडी हिँड्छौ?

कछुवाले आफ्नो पिठ्युँमा आफ्नो घरै बोकेर हिँडे जस्तै
आफ्नो मनभित्रै आफ्नो संसार बोकिहिँड्ने मान्छे
दुनियादेखि अचम्म परेर कछुवा झैं लुकिहाल्ने मान्छे

जति टाढा गए पनि संसार त आफैंले बोकेर हिँडेकी छ्यौ
कहाँ खोज्छौ स्वतन्त्रता, कहाँ खोज्छौ उदारता
मन त तिम्रो संसारमै बाँधिराखेकी छ्यौ