Saturday, November 1, 2025

What a fool was I

You guys carry on
And I'll join you later
He always said
Anytime there was
Something 
He didn't want to attend
A shraddha, a festival 
A ritual, a community work
A death of someone distant
And he never did attend 
Anything that needed 
Even a little bit of 
Emotional labor 

Always, always giving time to
His own pursuits
His own interests 

And how foolish was I
Believing that
Just because I managed 
To shirk these 
Unpleasant responsibilities 
Once in a while
When I was young
And ostensibly studying,
I could avoid them
Forever 
And live his life of 
'tapasya' and 
'noble purpose'

Purpose

Coming to the conclusion that
There is no such thing as 
Masculinity 
Because 
All that is masculine 
Is also feminine 
(As the men like to say,
Humanists... 
Because all humans are
Human first of all...)

But yes, there is a great thing
Called femininity 
And that is not merely
'humanism'
Because they do something 
That other humans don't 
Namely, give birth
Which leads to
Lots of knowledge 

This femininity 
Is very, very hard to pin down
Very, very hard to put a finger on
And name, and articulate 
Because, often,
If you say one thing
Is femininity
Immediately 
Someone will pipie up and say
But my dad is like that 
Men can also be like that

I suppose can is the key word 
Men can
But women are.
Most, not all, of them...

And so, what are they?
I will try,
With less skill than is desirable 
To describe 
Something so important 
And yet, so elusive 

It is
In one word
Purpose 

Purpose 

Women 
Always have a purpose 
And the purpose 
Is to live life
To make the living of life
As easy and as simple 
And as quick 
As possible 

You might say
Isn't that what men also do?

Let me try and 
Have another go at it
It is
The feeling when
Mother is in the house
Versus 
When father is in the house 

When mother is in the house 
You know
She is thinking 
Of how to get food 
Cook food
How to make sure
Everyone is fed
And can make
Their schedules
How and when to clean
What to buy
What to replace 
What to destroy
In short how best to 
Live the life you have 
How best to 
Distribute resources 
Meaning time, attention,
Money, emotion
To meet everyone's needs
All their actions 
Have a purpose 

When father is in the house
It is the exact opposite 
They bumble around 
Breaking things
And the entire purpose 
Of their life
Is to accumulate 
All resources 
How best to gain
Their own comfort, fun
Pursue their interest 
The rest of the people 
Be damned to hell
Selfish 
To the bone

You might think
This is the description 
Of individuals 
Think deeper 
And know this
To be the story
Of almost 
Every household 
With the exceptions
Only proving the norm