Maybe

Maybe the key is
To not expect anything
Out of life
To control your mind
And our desires
And that shit

And just get on with your duties
Then there would no pain,
No disappointment

But then
What would be the point

This could be

The storm before the calm

Or

The calm before the storm

Abstinence

Telling myself
The little glimpses into your life
Didn't really mean anything
Didn't really lift my soul

Any more

Not that i miss you, exactly

Only that your absence
Makes the avalanche of
Unfortunate events

That much harder to handle

Stages

Yours is the kind of loneliness
That you don't even know exists
That you don't understand yourself
That you don't Acknowledge

But i understand it
When i see it in you
Because it was mine before

The kind of loneliness
That you don't know is there
Until it is cured
That you wait all your life
To be filled
But you don't know
What you are waiting for

Yours is the kind of loneliness
That leads you by a thread
To someone
And you don't even know
What you were following
How you ended up there

Yours is the kond of loneliness
Very different from
This knowing void of mine
That knows exactly what is missing

And that is exactly why
They wont fit together

Your heart is full of longing
And mine, of loss

Yours is the kind of loneliness
That needs something
As young and innocent
And hopeful as itself
To be fulfilled

All i ask for

It is so easy
To drift into anger
To lash out,
Kmowing that i can.
And to walk away
After hurting you

All i ask for
At the end of the day
Is a little more strength
To make the effort
To be kind
To the people who will
Always matter

I just want five minutes
Of kindness that i can give you
That will last you all day

X privilege

Nothing as humiliating
As being reminded of your privilege
By someone who struggles
For the things you take for granted

(For him, it's not just a job)

#moments when i want to
Dig a hole in the ground
And crawl inside