Can you "grow up" with a person you never see?

Shall i tell you one more joke,

You said

I have never heard you laugh,

You said

And you my best friend of 

Fifteen years

There is something wrong

When you grow up

So far apart from

The one closest to you

I could not piece together

From the sketches of you

(Scattered over yahoo

And then facebook

And then whatsapp)

The big picture

Of how you smile, how you talk

How you wink, how you walk

And the photo of the big smile

Apparently did not deliver 

The sound to you

A tragedy

Is also source of wisdom

A place to draw from

A thing to orient 

Yourself around

And secretly,

A thing of pride

(That you would rather not have

But are proud to have weathered)

When the road inside is blocked

What happens when

The only person you trust

Does not like you

Runs away from your conpany

Refuses to help you

Looks at you with pity and deprecation.

And that person is yourself

What happens when

Your only refuge,

The place inside you,

Is destroyed?

You were the straw

I clutched when 

Violent stormy seas

Tossed me from side to side

How could i know

That after holding on for long,

The straw would become my harbor.

The dam to stormy seas within me.

If you have many ports

Calling out to you already

You may choose the safest

But if you don't,

The straw takes on

Gargantuan proportions

That so confounds outsiders

talking to many people

Just to fill the void of one absence

Trading

Life stories

You look at old chats

And think,

Words, just words

Where did all that excitement

You remember

Come from?