the worst time to let go

is the moment you realize
that it just might work out

hindsight

when everything was right
and yet there was something
that I couldn't put a finger on
i should have known
that what was missing was magic

You should've read:
थाहा हुनुपर्थ्यो
Dud Hallucination
I should've known

sure, you don't wanna part either

but i am the one who has to come back to an empty house

second best

loading a big bulky walker
into a tiny car
pushing pulling
(silently) cursing
then unloading
stinky bird poop
chilled, hardened knuckles
paper cuts from ice
heavy boxes
tension depression frustration

A nice day makes it so much easier

Since i cannot have you to make it better
i will take the second best (any day)

i know it's for the best

but it doesn't help.

what I like about you

I would say you are pretty
but I am gonna say it last
because you are so much more

(is what i would like to hear)

dissertation

a year of slog ends up as
one article in the newspaper
and one morning's tea table conversations

you are not welcome

then
you walked out of my life
now
i prefer to keep that way

speculation

what happens to the wishes
that could have been wished
on a shooting star
no one sees?

what happens to the feelings
that could have been love
felt for a lover
long gone ?

wistful

today you told me
you spent hours shopping
and fell in love with an antique table
lucky piece of wood, that

the dangers of knowing too much

 तिम्रो हातको रेखामा मैले आफुलाई खोजें

विवाह रेखामा छु कि म?

विवाह नभए प्रेम मात्रै भए पनि ?

भाग्य रेखा मा छु कि

तिम्रो उन्नति मा साथ दिने?

यश मा? परिवार मा ?

सृजना मा ? व्यापार मा? 

कतै नभेटेर आफुलाई 

एकछिन त म निराश भएँ 

धेरै वर्ष धेरै मोड पछि 

तिम्रा उकाली ओराली लाई नियाल्दा

बल्ल थाहा पाएँ 

म त तिम्रो जीवन यात्राको  

खड्गो पो रहेछु

what a coward i am

from many pictures of you
i pick out
the one with
your eyes lowered

don’t get me wrong
you would look beautiful
in any picture, 
any day

it’s just that
when i don’t see your eyes
i don’t have to deal with
the pain in them

hidden treasure

an unexpected fortune,
discovered under
an ordinary looking rock,

is probably best left to dreams
where it makes sense

magical, mesmerizing

spellbinding and bedazzling

though it may be

it doesn't quite fit

my little dressing table

Other hidden treasures:

Yug Zee Tah: Craggy Comfort

Kay: Condolences To My Illusion of Revolution
Archal 1: छट्पटीको संसार

हिँड जाऊँ

झुपडी  रेस्टुरेंट  को
चुहिने  छानोमुनि 
एफ  एम् मा  समाचार  सुन्दै
बलेंसीबाट पानी तप्केर
भुईँको सानो खाडल मा झरेको हेर्दै
तातो  चिया र  भेज  पकोडा
को  मजा  नै  अर्कै

अन्य झरी कविता:

युग जी ता: नबोलाउ  त्यो छाता को ओत मुनि

के: त्यो झरी परेको सांझ

soul, not heart

Who was the first girl you liked?

"It doesn't matter,

since I like you the most"

With whom did you spend 

the best Valentine's day?
"You, of course"


Lies, lies, all lies
Though you may not call them so


Weathered by years of experience, 
I see
you want to make it
nice for me
you want to avoid
hurt and acrimony


what started out as concern 
has
after many lovers
become your second nature


i know i am supposed to 
appreciate it
but  i do not want your
niceness and politeness
the mask of diplomacy
the veneer of courtesy
i do not want your heart
and its delicacy


i want your soul 
with all its intricacy
i want a friendship
with all its honesty


i want you
with all your complexity

a perfect evening

sitting by the fire 

watching the snow fall outside

listening to Adele sing 

sharing a single slice of 

chocolate cake

fresh, warm and decadent

just like you, i tell you

the steamy chocolate sauce overflowing 

bursting the boundaries 

so i can feel it dark, 

sweet and bitter

the taste lingering

until i fall asleep on the couch

holding your  hands

the fire sends some sparks our way

to wish us good night

they become the stars

in my heady chocolaty dreams

and in my dreams

you tell me 

how i remind you of chocolate

Yug Zee Tah: Melt melts molten
Kay: No to fate of molten chocolate

about turn

remember how
i used to be angry
when you didn’t take my calls
and answer my phones
and how you gave a smile
and made things better

i still get angry with you
now and then
for the same reasons
the only difference is that now
i have only me
to make things better for me
 
i have only me
to reconcile with

a stranger's gaze

what does it mean?

does it mean, for instance, 

that you are attracted to me?

as i (sometimes) wish you were

(if you look nice enough)

and are going to send me 

flowers and chocolates to work?

(as the movies say)

or does it mean

for another instance

that you are just

unabashedly looking

because you can

and you believe

or pretend to believe

that i am just feigning discomfort

because i (always) want to be looked at
when actually i am withering

looking myself over

checking if my hair is funny 

or a button undone

finally sighing

and end up walking

with a stiff stride

my face turned away from you

to carefully avoid the gaze

at the end of the day, stranger

i don't want to be gazed at

or "admired" in your language

if admiration comes
at the price of holding my head
so low

that i do not see the way ahead

i just want to walk down the road

and get to my destination



fellow poets on stranger's gaze:
yugzeetah: stranger, my stranger
kay:  नहेर त्यसरी

after all

long hours

harrying people

dust dirt damp

i would be so sad

if i didn't have you
to talk to for hours

to hug and cry with

to hold hands

to cook and eat with

i would be completely distraught

if i didn't have you

to come home to

i reach home and remember

that i don't

naivete

together we  built 

a wall of trust 

laying down the rules
brick by brick

and making a circle

for just the two of us

where all we could see

was the sky high wall

around us

little did i know

that while i was sleeping
you built a back door

remember when

wishing for a wish upon the eyelash

we both wished

"let it be night forever"

and we had not even

shared a night together

i wonder

why
a picture of a sunset
awakens
dim memories of  you
when you always 
slept through it