As you talk to me

Glassy stare
Twitchy feet

I long to go back
To the world within

You might think
I don't care about you
And i don't, at the moment

Because nothing else is
As important as
Trying to calm
The raging tornado within

The effort might
Make me pass out
As it often has in the past
And u might think
It is simply dehydration
But i know better
It is a ghost that
I struggle to lay
A skeleton that i
Struggle to keep
Inside the closet
That it threatens to break

It is a demon that
I am just learning
Exists
Though of course it has
Been here forever
Sleeping, dozing
A baby growing up,
Feeding on my
Voracious appetite
For knowledge
And turning on me

It's threatening
To leak out of my mouth
And eyes
So i must keep it down,
I cannot speak to you

Even though i wish you
The best of life

You might think i don't love you
But in fact i m just too busy
Trying to slay a hydra
That grows ten heads
With my every effort
To slash one

#depression
#memories
#itisgone
#ihavesurvived
#thoughthehydrastilllurks
#bidingitstime