Spirals

At first we said
women are oppressed in patriarchy

Then we found out there were women
as patriarchal as men

Then we said patriarchy
is entrenched in women
and that they are not educated
to know what is what

Then we looked for agency
in that entrenched behaviors

If you made it a point
and a point of pride
to fulfill all the duties
that patriarchy set you
and you had not the choices
that i have
but in your little circumference
of ascribed values
if you aimed to be the best
if that was the only way
your ambitions
your talents and your strengths
flourished

who am i to judge
whether you were ruining yourself
by furthering the patriarchy
or whether you were  doing
the best you could do for youself
for love, respect,
and your own womanhood

who am i to look at you
with the eyes of today
and say you were uneducated
when you were the wisest
anyone could be

and so we are back to square one
where you limited agency
doesn't really change the
scheme of things
and only your daughters
and all the daughters of the future
can see
how much you bore on your
shoulders
to live a life of dignity
when there were so few ways
to do so