Demisexual dilemmas

Wondering whether
her ideas about intimacy
even made sense

when she insists that
all sexual needs are
emotional needs,
at the end of the day
and even when you think
they are not
it's all about your state of mind
being happy

and not accepting this
and only seeking to satisfy
your sexual needs
is what makes you unhappy

because it's so much more difficult
to engage fully
with every sexual encounter
you learn to compartmentalize
and it's so much easier
to just bang
and pretend like it didn't affect you
to not think about how it affects you

She was all about not dismissing
flings and one night stands
as long as there's a
emotional connection

Is that even a possibility?
Or, if it is, then what is the point
of having a short term fling?
isn't the whole point of a fling
to go do your thing
without any strings attached

very confusing, to be sure
unless you think that there are people
who cannot form attractions
without deep emotional connections

and no matter how short,
it better be real
and even if it short
does not mean it is not real
as long there is true connection

(and that makes it clear why
some things worked
and others didn't)

so much to hold on to
could be, possibly
romanticized ideas
so much baggage, apparently
that holds you back when
you have no time
or maybe not the right person
for the emotional connections

and people who
compartmentalise
their feelings
seem to be unbothered
by all this baggage
and seem to have everything
they could want and need
in separate compartments

and then there is she who
holds on to these ideas
maybe childish,
but she don't want to grow up, no

is it too romantic to ask for
a true connection
to be extremely hurt by cheating
to not react with a meh
and go back to your life
as if nothing happened
when disaster strikes your soul

she wonders how that happens
and why anyone would want to
be in that relationship in the first place
if nothing touches you,
nothing hurts you
and you can carry on with your life
as if nothing happened
even after apocalypose

she would rather not go there
she would rather hold on to her ideas
even if the world of tinder
makes it so much more difficult
to hold on to

even though it seems almost impossible

at the end of the day
it is the light of Earendil
that guides you out of your darkest times
and that is worth passing on
compartmentalising for