Sunday, December 28, 2014

The end of innocence

Is when
You learn  how people
Are manipulating you

And because
You have  learnt how
The weapon is used

Start using it yourself

-sachi

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Then what?

Some day  i won't  have any poem
To make you happy with

Because  that day it wont be enough
To make you happy

Then  what?
How will we create
An everlasting resource  within?

Monday, December 22, 2014

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Sleeping together (pun unintended)

No kissing, no touching

Technically,
It's not even romantic

We are just hugging
(Albeit in a horizontal  position )

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Troubles

Some days i am thankful for my toubles
Those are the days when you comfort me

Constantly looking the world in the eye

Making up for all those  years
When i did not know i could

Monday, December 15, 2014

Looking for healing

We are just two broken people
Looking for healing.

Life leaves all of us broken,
It's true,
And none of us are whole.

But the broken pieces
Of you and me
Fit together
Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Depression

It is not enough to cure it

Unless te emptiness within
Is filled

There is no othet way to go
But back

Desire

Haf i never
Felt such desire
For anyone before?

Or had i never
Allowed myself
To feel the desire?

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Lovers

Anyone who 
Approaches a woman
With anything less than
Utmost reverence
Should be disqualified

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The effect of keeping secrets

So well have i learnt
To suppress them
That not even alcohol
Can pry then from me

And i come out with flying colors
For having a clean heart

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Can you "grow up" with a person you never see?

Shall i tell you one more joke,
You said
I have never heard you laugh,
You said

And you my best friend of 
Fifteen years

There is something wrong
When you grow up
So far apart from
The one closest to you

I could not piece together
From the sketches of you
(Scattered over yahoo
And then facebook
And then whatsapp)
The big picture
Of how you smile, how you talk
How you wink, how you walk

And the photo of the big smile
Apparently did not deliver 
The sound to you

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

A tragedy

Is also source of wisdom
A place to draw from
A thing to orient 
Yourself around

And secretly,
A thing of pride

(That you would rather not have
But are proud to have weathered)

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

When the road inside is blocked

What happens when
The only person you trust
Does not like you
Runs away from your conpany
Refuses to help you
Looks at you with pity and deprecation.

And that person is yourself

What happens when
Your only refuge,
The place inside you,
Is destroyed?


You were the straw

I clutched when 
Violent stormy seas
Tossed me from side to side

How could i know
That after holding on for long,
The straw would become my harbor.
The dam to stormy seas within me.

If you have many ports
Calling out to you already
You may choose the safest

But if you don't,
The straw takes on
Gargantuan proportions

That so confounds outsiders

talking to many people

Just to fill the void of one absence

Trading

Life stories

You look at old chats

And think,
Words, just words

Where did all that excitement
You remember
Come from?

You are leaving me for ever

And i am losing
The one certainty of my life

A ship is safe at the harbor,
They say,
But that is not what ships are built for

And you, my harbor.

Perhaps i am meant to know
What floundering in the sea really means

Or perhaps i too,
Am meant to have an adventure
(A real adventure this time,
Because in every past thrust away
I have had you to come back to)


The psychologist of fantasies

When the weight of secrets
Begins to drag you
Down to unconsciousness,
Erupts in angry red rashes
All over your body,
Shoots up as bile and spoils your dinner
(And everyone else's),
Puffs up your lips to
Inhuman sizes.

Even talking to someone
And offloading
Becomes a fantasy.

You begin vetting
Every person you know

She will try to hush you up
Say thus is life, don't cry
And don't tell anyone

He will dismiss it
With a smirk or his lips
As if it means nothing

She will judge you
Bring it up in every
Future conversation
And point out
Where you went wrong

He will be shocked
Slap you and refuse to
Let you live your life
Vent all his misplaced anger
On the undeserving you

Maybe a psychologist
Can help you
But you think and think
And finally think
They are just doing their job
They don't care they are not
Interested

And then you realize
All you want is
A little interest
(Just one spark 
of genuine interest)
A litte understanding
A little empathy

And ultimately,
Because you cannot imagine
Falling into the arms of your
Psychiatrist
(Or psycho therapist or whatever)
And the overwhelming feelings
Not being reciprocated,
You decide against it.
And turn to the only place left:
Inwards.

All you want is a little love
(But a hug will do)


Sunday, October 26, 2014

The finity of experience

When someone says
We did this for tihar
During my childhood

You imagine years and years 
Of childhood
Filled with fun and frolic
Where they did these awesome things
Every day

But when you look back
You realize that 
Childhood is only twelve years
Four of which they are 
In no condition to remember
Two of which they probably did not celebrate
Due to deaths
(Or births, which is wierd)

So that leaves just six

And when you count it out like that
When the finite number actually stares you in the face
You think, that's it?
I did it only six times?

Count out the number of times you kissed
In a short three week relationship
That you thought was the deepest
And you ask yourself
So that's it? 
That's all it was about?

Counting always seems to
Take away from the mythologizing of it all
(Sorry numbers, actually i love you.
But can't find anything else to hit here)

How did you guess my secret?

Maybe what you said was
Nothing out of the ordinary

And i was only startled because
It hit too close to home

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Because i don't trust you

I want to keep a secret from you

But because i want you to think
I have an interesting life
I also want you to find out
That i am keeping a secret from you

Friday, October 17, 2014

Sunday, October 12, 2014

I want to leave

Everything to fate.

Or rather,
To your fate

Because unlike mine
Which has proven
To be spectacularly
Unreliable

Yours is clear and strong
And hopefully, will carry
The broken splinters of my line
Through

Thursday, October 9, 2014

I say there are no fights with you

But the truth is, you always let me win

Twisted teenage

When
You are in denial
About what makes you happy

Because
(Like siddhartha)
You believe
The pleasures of intimacy
Are to be conquered,
Not to be indulged

And the effort to reconcile
The constant denial
In sharp cotrast
To your desire
Just about kills
Every chance
Of a healthy social life

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

attraction to a flailing man

fades as soon as he finds his feet

is there a name for this?
some kind of disorder, perhaps?

Distance makes the heart grow number

Having waited so long
I think i have gotten used it

Finally meeting you
Would be like a person 
Coming out of jail 
After twenty years

Everything i know about you
Will be gone
And i will have
No ground to stand upon

"Wish you were here"
Is just an expression

If you were here,
I don't think i would
Know what to do



The world may wonder

What i see in you

But people with a hole
In their heart
Look only, and only
For healing

I hold your hands

Not to show you my love
But to keep them from wandering
:P

Saturday, September 20, 2014

How history repeats

In search of a story
To subsume herself into
Like her mother had done

And armed with all the skills
To bring it to a happy ending
Like her father can

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Life goes on

People change so much
From childhood to adolescence
You think their face is set for life
When they are finally consistent
For about a decade or so

And its weird how
Some of them change even more
In middle age
And you don't know the person
That you had thought
Had reached their final form

Rural life

So full of each other's life
Than just your own

Sunday, August 31, 2014

My pact with god

Give him what he wants,
I said to god.
And i will ask no more of you.
Ever again.

Perhaps it was a test 
Of my forbearance
That he did get what he wanted.

But i did not get him
Despite wasting on him
A lifetime's worth of wishes

Only now 
After years of trying to find detours
To asking for wishes
(And failing,
Because there are no loopholes
To a condition so specifically worded)

Did i find you
Who offered to give me
The feelings
God did not

So what if i cannot
Ask anything of god
I can ask of you
For any number of wishes

Friday, August 22, 2014

No choice

My life is a gaping hole without you
But you are nowhere near enough for me

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

attraction to the dark triad

can you dismiss a feeling away
by giving it a medical tag?
does it affect how you feel
if you are told it is a disorder?
does it make you feel any less
if you are told it was contrived?
does it reduce your intensity
because someone dissects and explains it
with a bell chart where you are on the extreme?

Monday, August 11, 2014

chalk and chesse. kiss and eggs.

they say the first kiss
tells you all about your love
they say you can tell
from your first kiss
how the relationship will go,
all the way to eternity

tn that case,
a kiss is not a kiss
but a basket of eggs.
all the eggs you've got

what if
the one who gives you
kisses like thunder
and hatches all your eggs
proceeds to kill all your chicken
and leave
damn i wish i had
saved a couple of eggs
because it takes a long long time
to gather them again

the kiss makes you feel all lukewarm
and you smash all the eggs yourself
but lukewarmth could have given you,
lets say, omelets instead of chickens
which you like, but not as much as chicken
what if
that is the one that grows and grows
and gives you delicious egg curry
by the end of the year
damn i wish i hadn't
smashed my eggs and left

i think i'll set aside
most of my eggs
for the really important stuff
and give to a kiss
only one egg at a time

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Facing tragedy at a young age

The scale of the effect 
An event can have on you,
Specially minor tragedies,
Is suddenly reduced

Facing tragedy at a young age
May be damaging
It makes you numb
When most people around you
Are overwhelmed

But in other words
It's also called growing up
You just do it a little ealier

After losing love

When i decided never
To love anyone
That i would be afraid to lose

It was strangely liberating

Because 
Now i was not afraid of losing
So i could love
With all the more abandon

The effects of being unloved

The strange mixture 
Of callousness and oversensitivity
When you cannot bring yourself
To say anythin kind
To the people who matter
And yet
The smallest gesture of affection
On yourself
Or on complete strangers
Or even in books or movies
Moves you to tears

- after reading The Reader

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The fire in some women

Even after years of
Marriage and domesticity
She looks
Like her own person

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Proving to myself

Showering
Immediately after your hug
Because i know
Your touch
Went much deeper than the skin
Of my temple

Friday, July 11, 2014

Deagging my feet

You
So ready to lead me
Hand in hand
To the depths of your soul
Eager for me
To know,
To love
And how do i tell
Your eyes shining
With expectation
That i just 
Want to turn back
And never have to lie
About how distateful i find
The depth of your soul
That refused to grow 
Since its fifteenth birthday

Leser of the two solitudes

Talking to you
Makes me even lonelier
Than not

Knowing that you are
Unattainable

But frankly, id rather have
This achingly sweet loneliness
Than the void of your absence

Thursday, July 10, 2014

fine words

as if words are just words
and have no roots in feeling

angular momentum

If I spin counterclockwise,
each turn robs the planet
of angular momentum
slowing its spin the tiniest bit
lengthening the night,
pushing back the dawn
giving me a little more
time here with you

-XKCD

and I, who flounder
in the timeless
space of triples ws,
think you and I have forever

Forever to ask,
Probe,
Mull,
Understand,
Enjoy

Granting,
Of course,
That you want to be around
That long

spelling out gestures

you don't have to leave
your door open for me

if you leave it unlatched
i will do the rest

-Z

agnostic

the word does not half cover
the struggles that come with it
-Z

fighting determinism

no one is completely free
but if i choose my own servitude
it frees me
-Z

packing infinities in finite moments

we know a housefly
has a life of five days
but the housefly itself
may have lived through
twenty years
-Z

Augustus Water's time

I wish time was like
Augustus Water's cigarette
I would embrace thirty
If only it did not have the power
To age me

I wish time was just a metaphor

Monday, July 7, 2014

I do not wish to be

In a world without you

Who make my ordinary life
Extra-ordinary
Just by your existence



Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Roadmap for parting

(Because our parting is inevitable.
(I have seen it in your hands,
And mine.) )

When we start to fight,
Should we try and keep it together
And defy destiny
Or recognize the signs
And end it immediately
To spare us the heartache?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

a confused thing

Your love is a confused thing

it is almost like the great love
of those who let you fly,
let you soar,
do everything in their power
to help you chase your dreams

your love is not
like the small, mean love of
those who seek to glorify themselves
at the expense of your ineptitude
forever stifling your growth

and yet,
whenever i was poised for
my most ambitious flights
you would hold me back,
almost like the mean lovers

as if you realize from time to time
that in my giddiness i could fly
away from you.
(and i do not deny
at least to myself
that that is my ultimate intention)
you would always
want me to come back
no matter how high i fly
(then what is the point of the flight
that you gave me?)

your love,
is a very confused thing indeed

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Perceptions

I am not angry with you
It just so happened that
You killed my spirit 
And i need some time off

But i suppose
It's all the same to you

But you are my muse

I scatter you
So indiscriminately
In my poems

And i am afraid that
When someone picks up 
the pieces
And joins them
They will not find the whole
That is my muse

But just the parts
That are the Furies
Following me around

Monday, May 26, 2014

My goddess

The queen you are
Who walks on water
Lives on air
As if this world
Was not my mundane one
But one of
Your own personal
Imagination

Dreams on fire

As they say,
Once a bird has tasted flight
It will never be content
With the ground

And so i cannot but 
Love you
For reminding me that
It is possible to fly
Like you

I hate you

For reminding me
That the things i imagine
Bind me
Don't really bind me.
I do.


Saturday, May 24, 2014

That awkward point in adolescence when

You do a quiz called 
how popular are you
End up in the bottom decile
And redo the quiz
Until you are in the middle

And you don't want to acknowledge 
That not even the leaked question paper
Can get you top ranks

Ever skeptical me

Nothing can convince me
Of the permanence of your love

If you tatto my name
Over your heart
I will wonder everyday
If today is the day
You will want it erased

Monday, May 19, 2014

No way out

The worst part is when
I am convinced
That the socially acceptable me
Is the only me that is possible

What's behind the facade?

Some people always give
The socially acceptable answer
To any question
Making me wonder
If that is really what they feel
At
The processes of their arriving at
A diffficult position to defend
Emotionally and factually
But enormously praised
Socialy


Friday, May 16, 2014

Existential question

To you i am
Just a close friend
One of many.
Still special,
But nowhere near 
Indispensible

For me you are 
An existential question
Where do i belong?
With me or with you?

Monday, May 12, 2014

Pursuit

It's easy to make logic
And say
Something that makes sense
To explain your actions

But in your heart you know
That truth lies much deeper
Beyond the bounds of logic

Scratch scratch scratch
Endlessly on a piece of paper
Pretend you want to
Express yourself
Make yourself understood
To the world

When the only objective is
To get at yourself
To try and understand
Your own actions
Motivations
To absolve yourself of sins
By acknolwedging them
In a roundabout way
To try and attain
Peace

Friday, May 9, 2014

Optimism is an effort

I wake up sweating
Smiling
Delirious
From a dream

Where i traveresed
The length and breadth of
The land where i want to live
Eating its foods

So good was the dream
That my tummy was full from it
Early in the morning
The sights, the smell, the taste
Of the the food and land
Were all upon me

For a moment
The choice was mine
To be happy at such a fulfilling dream
Or to be sad
That it wasn't true

Often i choose to doom myself
With the second choice
(The real me under the cheery facade
Is a pessimist)
But sometimes, some times
It's good to float for hours

Monday, May 5, 2014

Is it vain

To not regret anything?

I find my past actions inevitable
Even if i was given a second chance
My feelings would inexorably lead me
To the very steps that doomed me 
The first time around

I would want the circumstances
Of my unhappiness changed
But then, one can only regret
One's own actions,
Not circumstances

Unwanted luxury

To be a harridan
Is a luxury, i suppose
No one else
Would allow me
To go this far

But again,
I am an austere person
Give me just the simple pleasure
Of conversation

The energy for yelling my lungs out
I would like to reserve for emergencies

#happy day

#jacarandasblooming
#nojacketnojacket
#itstoohotforteaifthatsevenpossible
#trulyawesomeday

(#googlesearchgulmohursatnight)

#butitsatrulyhappyday

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Circle of trust

When i tell you my secrets
I don't know what you will do with them

But when you tell me yours
I know i am safe with you

Saturday, April 26, 2014

A man's world

So easy
To create
A life of ones own 
In the outside world
And pretend to be busy
And tell at everyone else
For not understanding
About the dangerous life at work

Friday, April 25, 2014

Beauty and brains

In every duo 
There is a beauty and a brains
No offence, but here i am both

Only here
It doesn't mean much
For you are the heart 
And the soul

Mirror, mirror

You have very great
Emotional needs

I don't think i can stand
To comfort you
And praise you to the skies
Every minute of my existence

But i know that
If i had been you
I would have said 
The same of me

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Scales not in your favor

My unhappiness with you
Has a lot to do with the fact that
I think there is still time
To build a life away from you

I wouldnt be taking
The risk of alienating you
If i was 50

Monday, April 21, 2014

Compatibility issues

I wonder how u can stand me
When i cannot even standmyself
On the days you bring out
The harridan in me
(Which is almost every day)

I would have blamed (only)
myself
For being a self centered bitch
If i didn't know people
Who bring out
The cheerful superwoman in me

Friday, April 18, 2014

The hot day

Creates delirium
Just one stop before dreamland
Revives the spirit

Saturday, April 12, 2014

For a day

I wish i cud be
Someone else

I am so bored 
Of my thoughts

Puzzled

I would rather be
Cool in summer
Than warm in winter

But then
I want warmth in winter
More than i want
Cold in summer

Friday, April 11, 2014

And i give up

I'm sure there are ways
To get across to you

But i've tried
And i've failed

The ex

That you parted with on good terms
Becomes the best friend you ever had
Because from him there is no distance
And with him there are no lies 

Both are equaly deficient

Why is
A french accent cute
And a nepali accent gauche?

Reading westeros history

The desire 
To parade everything i know
As cannon,
Indisputable fact,
To quote from it 
Be the expert of classics
And lay down my judgement
Is insane

And this is just fantasy.

No wonder,
With our vast heritage of
Real classics
The desire to gain expertise
Over grandly told stories
Took over
Our ancestors
And prevented them from
Seeking the real world
For confirmation

Thursday, April 10, 2014

is it narcissistic

to binge on your own poems?

Like the yin yang

We
Chase each other
In pointless circles

Only in apparant harmony

Getting thru' to u

Of course
I could ignore you
Shut out the pain you give me
Pretend it doesn't affect me

Instead of constantly trying
to communicate,
to make things better,
to try and make you understand
how you make me feel

But if i ignored you
What would be the difference between
You
And the countless others
I keep out of my bubble
With a screen of politeness

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

On a hot summer day

With the shadows of trees
Making pretty dappled patterns
On a dusty road

Life almost seems a blessing,
Despite its trials,
A chance like none other
That i would brave
Just to see what it has to offer.
Even its sorrows
Are merely
The gift of experience that
Without a life
I would have no chance of knowing
Yes, 
If given a choice
Between this life of heady ups and 
Breathtaking downs
And a bland heaven
I would choose it,
This uncertain life

But only on a hot summer day
When the sun
Threatens to burn the 
Hair off of my skin

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Seeking

Givers in ordinary life
We are both seekers in love
Which is,
Unfortunately,
The easiest way to
Wear each other's kindness out

Friday, April 4, 2014

Leave me alone

I follow my heart

And if you cannot understand why
There is no way i can explain to you

Sunday, March 30, 2014

then you win?

first you laugh at them
then you fight them
then they lose

then you gloat in your victory
and forevermore try to ignore
their words that ring true
and ring louder and louder
in your mind like a bell
every day

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Spellbound

Some people leave you
So spellbound

That afterwards you can't imagine
Or even acknowledge
Why you agreed 
To everything they said

Opinions

When you know
Their cyclical nature
You are in a unique position
To play the devil's advocate
Against any one of them

Thursday, March 27, 2014

being nice

path of least resistance
to being liked

but not necessarily loved

(reduces dissatisfaction
but does nothing
to increase satisfaction)

at what age do you own your femininity?

ordinary girls
spend the first few years
of sprouting breasts
in denial
of what is obvious
to everyone else

if the men don't undress you
with their eyes
right in the middle of a bazaar,
make you go red from head to toe.
(and you are the one forced to turn away-
because they won't)
the women,
(and them you cannot even
run away from)
with their intimate probing and jeering
will surely make you wish
you were buried miles under the earth.

and so you walk hunched,
carry backpacks in front,
wear outsized clothes,
and heavy shawls in sweltering heat
if you are forced to dress your size,
cling to the tight squeeze of sports bras
for as long as possible.
That at best makes you lflat,
And at worse makes them
Look like a loaf of bread.
But even a rectangle is preferable
To the merest suggestion
Of two spheres.
Anything, 
Anything that can help you pretend
That breasts don't exist

but this is not how it should be, is it?

i look at the transgenders

their model-like posture
breath sucked in,
chest thrown out, 
head thrown back,

and i think
i should have been
as they are.
unashamed of my femininity.

who took it away from me?
where went the excitement
of dressing up in mummy's clothes
and waiting fervently
to grow up and be like her?
who shattered my notions of beautiful womanhood
and made it feel like a burden? a shame?
who made me ashamed of something
that is as natural as a nose?

absence makes the heart fonder

just as
people who never even  listen to nepali songs
start composing dances to folk songs
when they are abroad,

transgenders
have more affection
for breasts
than us women.

Or so it seems to me.

one-upmanship

when they have a job to finish
they justify their yelling
but telling you how you
underperform
in comparison to them

and it becomes
all the more justified
when the job
succeeds

"oh, you need to have some control
put people in line
if you want some good results"

but it's never about those results
it's only about them, who like to yell
and simply look for valid channels to do so

in times of peace and rest
you can see them getting restless
as the desire to hurt
bristles beneath their skin
and itches and itches
and finally ends up
lashing out at poor unsuspecting
maids, drivers, servers
who they know
will never yell back

self declared muses

i write about ten different persons
and don't know whether to laugh or cry
when a single person
(who may not even be mentioned once)
assumes they are all about him

Faux pas

Having put foot in mouth
Rather too often
I turned to the pen
And found that
Pen in mouth
Is not
Half so uncomfortable

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Game of love

Come play the game,
You said
It will be fun,
You said

And i did
Believing that
To fall in love
Was the only point 
Of the game

Only to be rudely awakened
By your jeering at my defeat

If you compete to win
Everytime
It is not a game of love.
It is just a game

Go take your gloating
Somewhere else
For it was you
Who set the rules
So you would always win,
Always win.

Learn to let your love win
Gracefully
And take victory  in your loss
Before you invite someone 
To play the game of love

Monday, March 24, 2014

Duty-love

Give a bucketful
Because any less 
Would be bad manners.
Because you have to.

And then,
Because you don't want to,
Go to sleep early on him.

One to many

I thought
I had an amazing connection with him
That we clicked at first sight

But for him
Who had precociously acquired
The skills
To amazingly connect to
Anyone he chose
At the click of a finger;
It was just an ordinary day

Feet of clay

When you discover
That idols have feet of clay,
You are, no doubt, disappointed
And deeply so

But also secretly relieved
Because you don't have to
Live up to them anymore

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Two ways of avoiding intimacy

Running away from it
Or plunging headlong into it
Pretending it does not exist,
Pretending everything is
As normal as can be
Even in the depths of soul baring

I love you?

Took me so long to discover
That for you,
It does not mean 
You will try and make you happy

But that
I should
Try and make you happy

whose faulti is it

when you say
(what you think)
the world wants you to say

and the world thinks
that's the real you

Saturday, March 15, 2014

All love fades

But that doesn't mean
That what doesn't last
Isn't true

By any name

The reason you do not
Attempt to control
My actions
Is simply that
You  seek to control
My feelings

Possessiveness
Of another kind

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Friday, March 7, 2014

You

Some things
You never talk about

Too special
To risk the evil eyes of the world

Saturday, March 1, 2014

what doesn't kill

tragedy molds you, they said
it makes you stronger, they said

but you only have to look around
to see that
what doesn't make you stronger
kills your spirit

#highway

dreadful

when
i begin to dread
the little chinks of time
waiting for my tea to boil
waiting for the doctor
queuing up at the cinema

because i have no dreams
to fill it up

point of no return

when you learn to act
to fake an emotion
there's no going back

it becomes your second nature
until you start asking yourself
if the first nature even existed

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Maybe not so much anymore

"I would like to move on"
"Why?"
"Because there is no option."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Would you feel bad if you did, though"
"Very bad"
"Then are you sure that you are sure?"

(c)chip

Friday, February 14, 2014

Beauty Out of tragedy



Jan 20
Dear Rock,
The piles of snow
Yards of sand
Miles of forests
Seventy seven rivers
And everything else
Between you and me
That I will never cross.
Far away from you,
I close my eyes
As if that will make me forget
That they will never see you.
Only the nights remind me
That at least,
We lie under the same moon


Feb 2
Dear Me,
Today I met someone
Who has been touched by a star
And glows on his own strength
Even in the midst of
Mud and grime

Feb 22
Dear Rock,
Whatever house I may live in,
Or city I travel to,
The temple that I worship at
- the place of mystery, awe, wonder
Will always be your heart.

Feb 27
Dear Me,
But someone knocks
At my place of worship
Maybe
Company will always be
More alluring
Than prayer


March 7
Dear Rock,
I dare to walk into fire,
Stare into the devil’s eyes
Because I know
I can always come back to safety
Like the rain that falls
With the certainty of the earth below it,
I walk in a trance
Certain of your protection
Following me everywhere.


March 19
You who disturbed me in my prayer,
Ever wonder why there is no
prince of hearts
in the deck of cards?
Because I stole you from the fates...


April 5
Dear Rock,
I will have you know
No matter how many people
Offer me their shoulders to cry on
And hands to wipe my tears
It is always you I think of in my mind
When I need to share a secret


April 20
Dear Prince,
It is said that
Few lovers are worthy of their poems
And then there are some
Only worthy of epics
And a foolish poet like me,
Who tries to contain you
In haikus
.

May 6
Dear Rock,
My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees - my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath - a source of little visible delight, but necessary, said Catherine Earnshaw.
I have a question for you. How many rocks are you allowed to have? Can I have more than one?


May 26
Dear Prince,
I need girlfriends because
I cannot tell you
How I find someone else
More interesting than you.
I cannot tell you
I have a crush
On your best friend,
However tiny the crush might be
And I cannot tell you
How I miss someone else
All the time


June 4

Dear Me,
How easy it is to store life
In little chat-box like compartments
That don't spill into each other
And how unhealthy it is
To navigate


June 17
Dear Prince,
I always assumed that
I would be able
To draw the line
At the next step,
Not realizing that
You walk around with
An eraser in your pocket,
Just in case.
You’ve taken over my life.


June 16
Dear Rock,
My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees - my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath - a source of little visible delight, but necessary, said Catherine Earnshaw
Could I possibly get the rock out of my system?
What would it take?
Alien invasion?
Meteor explosion?
Dinosaur football?
Tectonic plate shift?


July 20
Dear Prince,
Life gives me so many
    hurts
    deficiencies
    inadequacies
    insecurities.
Having you
Makes up for all of them.
You are the gift
I gave to myself
To be opened on account of
Calamities.
The message in a bottle
I set afloat
Which brought me back
Good tidings.


August 13
Dear Rock,
You are
The earth on which I walk


August 29
Dear Prince,
When he shattered
His jar of memories
Of us together,
I picked up the pieces
And made a wall hanging
For the living room.
I did it again 
With a smile
And again
For anyone who left.
I guarded them zealously
And displayed them proudly
"Look I made a thing of beauty 
Out of tragedy."
But when you gently
Slid your jars
My way
And got up to leave
I realized
That I didn't care about the jar 
Any more.
It was you who made me feel
That the memento I would make
Is only a lowly substitute
for the one who leaves


September 6
Dear Rock,
Who are the people
Who day after day
Bask in your company
That is as dear as
A cherished winter sun?
Do they even know
How lucky they are?


September 21
Dear Prince,
I looked for me in the lines of your palm
Maybe in your marriage line,
If not that, in the lines of love and infatuation?
Perhaps with you in your success,
Aiding you in progress?
Accompanying you on travels?
Finding myself nowhere,
I had turned away, sad
Only when I look back at
Your life’s ups and downs
Do I realize
That I was the obstacle
In your life line


October 14
Dear Rock,
There was a point in time
When I remembered
Every single thing
That had happened to me.
As events crowded
And threatened to snap
My limited synapses
Now more and more I realize
That I remember only
The most important things 

If all else perished, and you remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and you were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger, said Catherine Earnshaw.

Once again I woke up to a heartful of you.