The cup of plenty

When her Cup was empty,
She could gather Nothing

And yet When her Cup filled up,
She had space for all the world

pedestal

some
would be happy to be put up on it
to be praised all the time
to have their faults overlooked
or justified, portrayed as
misunderstood strengths

heady, intoxicating
but
dangerous too

to be lost in a world
that is not real

rude jolts of life
may pop you out of it
at any time

and maybe the one
who put you on the pedestal
will not always feel the same

besides, the pedestal
is a very very small space
even smaller than four walls

and being on your best,
dispalable behaviour
at all times
can be quite suffocating...

communist menifesto

i found the ending rather dangerous, I said
of the communists uniting to annihilate their enemies
which could be used to justify violance

dangerous? she said i found it more delusional
because the future is definitely capitalist
and there is not going back

i always  believed the future was left, i said
because we are more aware of the evils of capitalism now

more aware, yes, she said but also more ingrained in it
we are greedy people, and it gives us everything we want
there is no way we are ever going to get out of it

still, it's good to be leftist at heart, we agreed
because it is the thought that counts?

great expectations

trying to take the next step forward
sure, there were anxieties on both ends

but still, she was dumbfounded
by his question that seemed to put
the entire weight of his expectations
on her, and to bear nothing of it himself

if i come to See ypu, will i be happy?

he asked
and he did not ask, what do you want?

Should We meet?

Which of us Should travel?
if i come to See you, will you be happy?

it seemed odd to her that
the steps she thought were obvious
were not so obvious to him,
and that he had doubts, when she had none
or at least, none that she expected him to solve

as if, when he said he loved her
he was not saying that he cared about her
but that he wanted her to be the one
who made him happy

And When He had only two minutes for her

He would not ask How She was

Or even say How He was

But request her

Tell me something that Will make me feel good

I have So very little time, darling 

As if She was his factory of Good feelings

And Nothing else about her mattered

and when they fought
he would not say how much he missed her
or how sorry he was,
or even ask her why thought
the way she did
he would instead say
i am miserable, i have not eaten
how can you do this to me?

as if her function in his life
was to keep his life smoothly functioning ....

Post script:
And after they were parted, bitterly
he would call her on a random day
that she had no reason to mark on her calendar
and ask ruefully, it's my birthday today,
can you imagine how i must have felt?

Mouthy

If i don't
Fight my fights
Then who will

Jade, past tense

What are you left with

If you are at
The end of your tether

And cannot

Overeat for instant gratification
Drink for intoxication
Argue, talk, write for expression
Or even get depressed for implosion

You die slowly
Bit by bit every day
Until the fire
Goes out of your eyes
And you lock yourself in

Jaded to the world and
Dead to yourt

(Un)secure

Every time you think
You are secure
In love

Found a man
You cannot doubt

It all comes
Tumbling down

But then
Psst
Says your sensible
Inner self

It is only the ones
That are secure
That come
Tumbling down

Aquarius

Like he fills up the lord's cup

you fill mine

only this cup is not full of wine
but of the
strength and kindness
that we give out
to the people around

which had been so empty
that i had nothing left for myself
let alone
spread any love and kindness
to the people who
needed it more than I did

touch base

like swallows that travel
for thousands of kilometers
to avoid harsh winter
see a little vessel of water
on a sun-parched porch

and decide to dip down,
sprinkle themselves
and drink to their fill
before they take off again

#ambrosia

dangerous times

when old friends
get bored of marriages
and start reaching out
trying to re-kindle
old flirtations

damn #socialmedia
damn #internet
damn #24hrconnectivity

my melodramatic soul

when you look at him with eyes full of tears
and he responds with a banal 'get over it'

you realise that what you always thought
as obious reactions of the human nature
to things around them
were actually not so obvious
and that you were born (or bred)
to be melodramatic
and that not everyone is the same

and that you need similar people around you
to understand who you are

people who get incensed
about random things
cry at the drop of a hat
digress into flower verses
invoke dreams and poemsmyths and gods
at the slightest provocation

yes you need people like this around you
to understand how and why you react to things
the way you do

for without them,
you and your melodramatic soul
will forever walk
in the barren desert of banality

ms intelligence

o baini, she said
why don't you come by and sit for a minute?

those horses are mine, she said
do you wanna buy them?
why were you looking at them?

oh no, I was just passing by, I said
but do tell me about your horses
why do people still need them,
in the age of four-wheel jeeps?

the jeeps do not displace horses,
she says
they work side by side
the horses haul the bricks
over in brick factories of Kathmandu

she has never been to Kathmandu
but she knows that yesterday,
there were two strong earthquakes there
and that it rains there every day,
so the brick factories are jobless
and her sons are coming back home

she knows too,
that when you get on the plane
the houses look tiny,
and the mountains look big
birds are like flies, aren't they? she asks
the sun must be shining above the clouds
but i'm sure it's not hot,
there must be a/c inside?

i wonder how she knows all this
until she starts asking me questions
the answers she will hold in her heart
as knowledge forever

it must be really windy, in the plane?
oh the windows are closed?
but you do get to look out?
and what about the food?
they give you anything to eat?
just a bhujia and water?
hmm true that it's a very short flight
just an hour, huh?

she lives in a ramshackle hut
which also doubles as a retail shop
a bamboo shed that is open on two sides
houses her potteries
that she has stacked up for sale

there is no reason to doubt
that she would be the
sharpest woman in the room
if she was born
anywhere but here

i should go now, didi, i say
do you have cold water?
oh yes, cold water in the fridge,
she says,
only for sale

iced coffee

when humans begin drinking
iced coffee in the middle of winter
because they live inside
air conditioned rooms
and have never known anything else

we know that humanity
has strayed far, far away
from its roots in nature,
and the cycle of seasons
that guides everything,
everywhere

no one is to blame,
least of all the people who drink
iced coffee in any weather,

for the relentless march of
"modernity" and "development"
that brought us here
to a world guided by
machines an automatons
rather than the world
that gave birth to us


it is only for us to wonder
how long we will last
in a world where
all fruits are available
in all seasons
and there is no such thing
as night

tensions

when she walked
into his territory
for the first time
she was relived by
how relaxed he was

that it was a warm hug
instead of
an insistent exploration

perhaps he felt her trembling
and let it go at that

only she
wanted it to last forever

only he
was impatient to move on

she
wanted him to wait for her
to finish telling her stories
to touch, to rub her face
to smell, to let it sink in
before she smiled, winked
and let it unfold

and she instead
felt his impatience
rigid, tense open palms
that stopped themselves
from probing
because she was not done
talking yet

his replies came faster
his questions more hurried
please say yes or no darling,
and let's move on,
she could almost hear
the subtext in the staccato

finally she might give 
a mental sigh
and stop talking
and let him smile and
see his eyes light up

not that she disliked
whatever followed

only that she wished
it happened
at her own pace
instead of always being
hurried into it

so sometime she might
simply disengage with a sigh
pry those rigid hands off of her
and go away,
her heart full of
his eyes full of hurt

him believing she
did not love him
did not appreciate
what he had to offer

and her believing
he had no care for her well being
no penny for her thoughts
and no use for her
other than the entirely banal

she knows

what she wants
doesn't exist

aquarius

(you ask why
you are not taken yet

you do not ask
why i call you
by the name of
the cup bearer)

Like he fills up the lord's cup

you fill mine

only this cup is not full of wine
but of the
strength and kindness
that we give out
to the people around

which had been so empty
that i had nothing left for myself
let alone
spread any love and kindness
to the people who most needed it
needed it more than I did

Dick pic

Men Would be Happy
To receive a #boobpic

And assuming women are the same,
Send dickpics
Thinking it's gonna atract and excite women

A #theory

So in essence,
Men project their sexuality on women
When in reality
The female sexuality is very very different

And women DO NOT hyperventilate
At the sight of dickpics
Or Anything else, for that matter

Most of them are Much Less visual
And Much more sensual
Than the average #dickpic male

When are We gonna communicate
With Each other..

A or B?

theory A: spending a lot of time with a dazzling person, you inevitably fall in love with that person

theory B: spending a lot of time with a dazzling person, you actually see their faults that other people don't see, and are not as dazzled as other people are

theory A: even the faults are endearing, coz you are the only person who sees them and other people don't, so the privilege of secret makes you fall more in love

Of envies

the rootless brahmin girl

has no festivals
which she celebrates
with the whole villages
she goes back to her little family
for the important occasions
she has no songs she remembers
that were passed down to her
from her family
she has no familiar gods
that would live and breathe with her
except the ones she reads up

in essence she is
rooted nowhere
feels herself oscillating
freely in the wind all the time

and envies those
who have what she does not
close ties
festivals that make you feel
exactly where you are
in the scheme of things
songs that you
go back to when you need
guidance, philosophy
gods that walk with you
every step of the way

only to find that
people who actually have it
don't necessarily want it
that maybe they resent the loud music
that comes into their windows
asking them to celebrate willy nilly
whether or not they want to
that they are bored by the old songs
that they know by heart
and want fresh new things to
sing along and be happy
that they despise the gods
that they hold responsible
for all their evils

*****

and she always thought
boys being boys
who get to run around
stay out till late
visit all the bookshops they want
or any other shop, in fact
wink and ask for salacious material
talk to all sorts of people
listen to riveting tales of
more experienced people

she always thought they knew more
about the ways of the world
about what to do and how to do things

but no, he says
boys learn nothing
from all their running around,
and instead take it all for granted

having no one to talk to
and no one to explain things to them
they look to women
with a sense of wonder
at the special bonds they share
and think they must know everything
even from within
their four walled limits....

Drunk and delirious

He prefers to spend
The night With dogs

And i know my love
Will Never be enough

dream house

if someone had asked her
what her dream house was
she would have named
a little stone house

a little place by the river
with the water always gurgling by
surrounded by greenery
flowers, old ancient trees

but this she could only say
after she had put aside
the fairy tales dreams
of a huge stone castle
or more like a fort

spread over miles and miles and miles
with jungles and rivers and flowers
all inside it

and she had only put it aside because
she knew how much work it took
to take care of a place like that

what is her dream then
if even her dream
is built upon
the ashes of another

and what does she really want
what would make her
truly happy of the two

To be a woman in this world

If only she knew then
what she knows now

about what it means
to be a woman in this world

the power, and the responsibility

when he looks at her
like she is the center of the world

when he wants from her
all that he has missed as a child
and knows he will get it
nowhere else

life, after all, revolves around
what women have,
what women are

mother
a source of affection
like no other

and nothing will suffice
but unconditional love
that pours out 
from a woman's heart

maybe it takes her years
to wrap her head around this idea
and be secure and settled
in the unconditional love
that she is able to give
and think it will suffice
think it will bind
him to her forever

only to have it all
come tumbling down
because some woman
decides to take off her clothes
and turn the years of affection
to dust, in one strike

and that too
is what it means
to be a woman in this world

if only she had known
both of this before
she ever met any man

only

A mother could have called him
Handsome
But
He did not have one

(Peter pan)