Law of inverse

The more ways of conversations

We have

The more mundane they seem to be

Smses chats vibers Whatsapps

Phone calls video calls

All ring with the 

Minutest details of the mundane life

Spoken in drab unenthusiastic voices

That drag on and on

And often end with 

Repeated questions of

What else?

So what's new?

Anything else?

Compare it

To the sparkle in the eyes

The leap in the voice

The catch in the throat

The radiance in the face

The speed in the heartbeat

Of meetings 

Few and far between

In the times before the internet

And i am inclined to think more

That we have lost

The essence of conversing

Just when we have been given

The easiest ways to converse

the Buzz

It occurs to her

Only late in life

That men always seem to 

Talk of women

In a vague, 

Impressionistic way

As in

They are happy when

Women are scurrying around

Wearing smiles and colorful clothes

Or weaving in and out of the kitchen

(Apparently) lending each other a hand

The details of it

Whether the women 

Are actually smiling

Or just conniving

Whether they are helpfully

Lending each other a hand

Or pulling each other's legs

Behind the scene

Doesn't matter to them

All that matters

Is the impression of

Smiling colorful women

Milling around

And it is the same with negativity

When they see the women unhappy

Or quibbling

All they care is that the quibbles

Should be gone

They have no idea

And no interest

In knowing what exactly

The women are unhappy about

Discombobulated

First they told her

That she mist despise

The ordinary lives of women

Padherni women

Whose lives were limited

To their home

And who only went

As far as their padhera

Whose talk was limited to

Pee and poop of their children

To how to pluck saag

And how to kill the

Mice and cockroaches 

Infesting their kitchen

Who would spend hours discussing

Their techniques of making

A simple cup of tea

And months perfecting

The art of pickling radishes

Disregard these women

She was told

They contain nothing of value

You must strive

To get out if the four walls

That contain these women

For your world lies outside

These narrow confines

And so she did

Believing

That to conquer the world

It is necessary

To despise 

Women of that sort

But by then the world had changed

And she found that now

It was the men

Who despised such women

And got everyone else to despise them

That she was supposed to despise

Because the world

Of course

Rests on the shoulders

Of hard working women

And it is men who claim

To walk on water

Above the "filth" of worldliness

Believing themselves to be 

Too good for

Ordinary domesticity

Who had obscured her vision

Upended the way the world is seen

And led her to believe

That their world

Was superior 

To that of the householdy women

On her own 

She learned to despise them

And now that she despises

The sum total of everyone

She knows

There is no one

Left to admire

जिजिविषा

There is light rain on the windows

I draw back from it with a frown

I have waited days for this day

Planning, cajoling, scheduling

So that i can get away for a few hours

And enjoy a glimpse of

What i used to be

But then there comes the rain

I am disappointed

But i say, well, another day

This reminds me of olden days

When no amount of rain

Would have stopped me

I have a raincoat, i would say

How can you say there will

Be no rain tomorrow, or the day after, Or the whole month, I would say

And i would run off

No matter how wet or muddy i got

It was worth it to me

The experience of new things

The taste of life

For such is the desperate desire for life

That you only see in the young

And now I am jaded

Or cone could say - wiser

And i easily say

There will be another day

If only my life

Continued for another 200 years

Or a thousand years

I would grow wiser and wiser

Every day

More and more patient

I would then conquer the world

But that is not the way of life

One day my daughter will be

Youthful and desperate

Just as desperate as

I used to be

And she will set out into the rain

I have a raincoat, she will say

And I, powerless,

Or maybe unwilling

To stop her

Will sigh as i set about

Making recovery soup

And setting out her warmest

And dryest clothes

For when she comes back

And just like that

My well made wisdom will tumble

Like a house of cards

Such is the way of life

To make and build

With all the passion

As if it will last into eternity

But then to destroy everything

In an instant

Like a castle of sand

And to rebuild

Again and again and again

Do words have power?

When there was no rain for months,

People used to come to brahmins,

Asking them to light huge fires 

And do a big hom

After that, there was always rainfall

My mother used to say

It was the words they said

Calling on the rain gods

I scoffed at her

Words

Do not have so much power, mother

I said

They are mere words

I am now not so sure

****

I still wouldn't believe that

The brahmins' hom

Full of incantations

Chants calling upon the rain gods

Rhythmic rhyming singing

That went on for hours and hours

Were what caused the rain

And yet i think about

At all the chants they do

And wonder if they

Accomplish something

****

The chants of housewarming,

For example

Where they wish

Good health and prosperity

On the residents

Or of a marriage ceremony

Which wish the couple

Love health and happiness

I am sure they are effective 

In some way

In showering good vibes

Upon those present

As opposed to, say

If nasty, negative words 

Were spoken at the ceremony

If evil wishes were heaped on them

But then

Nobody understands the Sanskrit incantations

The words asking the heaven and earth

To bless them

Sending thanks and good wishes

To the plants and animals

And the air and firmament

Are the words effective

Because they have meaning

Or because they are said with good intentions?

Do the actual sounds have any impact?

Or could different sounds be made, with the same meaning?

For example if 'good' meant 'bad'

And 'bad' means 'good'

The sounds would have 

No inherent meaning

But the intention with which they are said

Gives them meaning

So, what if the sounds are made

Without the good intentions

For example i wish someone

Happy birthday

Even though i don't want them

To have a happy day

Would the words

Still carry my good vibes across?

Or what if someone 

Who doesn't know Sanskrit

Reads out the prayers

From a book

Would the words still carry

The same good vibes across?

If a curse is spoken

Without understanding the words

Would it still harm?

No coward soul

No coward soul is mine

No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere

I see Heaven's glories shine

And Faith shines equal arming me from Fear

O God within my breast

Almighty ever-present Deity

Life, that in me hast rest,

As I Undying Life, have power in Thee

Vain are the thousand creeds

That move men's hearts, unutterably vain,

Worthless as withered weeds

Or idlest froth amid the boundless main

To waken doubt in one

Holding so fast by thy infinity,

So surely anchored on

The steadfast rock of Immortality.

With wide-embracing love

Thy spirit animates eternal years

Pervades and broods above,

Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates and rears

Though earth and moon were gone

And suns and universes ceased to be

And Thou wert left alone

Every Existence would exist in thee

There is not room for Death

Nor atom that his might could render void

Since thou art Being and Breath

And what thou art may never be destroyed.

- Emily Bronte