If

If There are No signs to heed,
We keep exploring

If We are still thirsty
We keep searching for the oasis

If We don't know if We found
What We have Always waited for
Then We keep waiting

Magic

When my dreams
Show me visions about the past
Foretell the future
And offer me insights
into the world and human nature
and the people around me

I know there is magic in the world

But then this magic
Is not the easily learned one
of card tricks
Nor is it to be bound
in incantations
Nor can it give easy answers
like a ventriloquist's dummy
nor are its secrets
as easily revealed
as rabbits that pop out of hats

It is the true magic
of things that have no logic
like compassion and love
and prayer that heals the soul


But then
Like all these true mysteries
they are truly mysterious
they come at will,
not when you call
they will show you
what they will
not what is easy
or what is logical

They can easily mislead
And like all true mysteries,
they are frightening
because they cannot
be controlled
and they will never
serve you

And most importantly
In the age of easy answers
and even easier pills
that solve all mysteries
they are maybe
not so useful any more

but then again
who needs utility
when they are 
the last of the true magic left
in a world that is
increasingly mundane

Travelling thoughts

Once upon a time
a girl had lost all faith in
things that could not
be proven with science

the working of karma
cannot be true, she said
because there is no way
someone could be reborn
rebirth does not exist, she said

she would not go around
to compromise

but then science
came around to her

(since all matter is finite
and time is infinite,
everything that can happen
has already happened before)

to be more worldly
since matter is finite,
everything that is
on this earth is recycled

we all carry the elements
of some other beings in the past
and when we die,
we decompose and become
first, gases, next, mud,
which goes into plants,
which goes into animals
and who knows?
one day we might be back
in human form!

**

that we all carry matter
from the past, is clear
but what about consciousness?
the thing that makes a person
identity, self?
that cannot be carried over,
can it?

**

sometimes thoughts travel
without being seen
sometimes wishes, prayers,
energies and sentiments
affect things around us
and there is no way
to measure it

they say even plants
are happier and healthier
grow faster and more nutritious
if they are loved, nurtured

who sees this love?
who sees the energies you are
sending out to plants,
telling them to grow?

(who can counter the objectionists
among whom the girl was foremost
who would say that wishes don't prevent
diseases, or use of force, or forces of nature
how the use of force
is diminishing this simple magic
of love and prayers and energy
is a whole another discussion)


**

maybe consciousness travels
in ways that humans
have no found ways to fathom
and measure yet
or maybe have forgotten to
create and measure

but does it travel lifetimes?
transcend a circle of life
and go settle on another?
is it so concise and concrete?
if it does, how does that happen?
does your soul shift to
where your brain cells go?
do your other parts of the
body have any memory left,
or not at all?

these are questions
that will perhaps have
no rational answers
and perhaps some mysteries
should be left mysterious
because there are not too many
left in this world anyway

**

but to be sure,
consciousness also travels
in ways that
we have always known

do we not
visit each other in dreams?

Faith

So many claimants on your soul
In this dystopian world
That will harden your very being

Abuse, betrayal, pain, suffering
And people who enjoy
inflicting all of these

Enough for you to lose faith
In the world and in god
Enough to be disillusioned
Enough to give up

And still, despite all of this
to hold on to the idea
That real and selfless connection
exists between two people
which feels like bathing
in a clear moonlit
pool of redemption
which feels like you can shoulder on
despite living in a cesspool
that is the world today
which feels like you have
a place to lie down
and rest your head
feels lie raging storms
have died down
and a surging river
has found its banks

maybe you have seen
and felt this love
and maybe you have
only heard stories

But still believe all this exists
despite how tempting it is
to fall into despair, disparagement
scepticism and disillusionment

Just to believe in love
is a great victory
for the soul !

youthful pretensions

once you get over the
youthful bedazzlement
over wealth status
popularity good loos
and whatever else
bedazzles youths

you are left with
what truly matters
the matters of the heart

overflowing

one day
she held a cob of corn in her hand
and as she eased out the kernels
one by one
her hand felt full
and were soon overflowing
a vision of plenty
well being and prosperity

as if she had received
a handful of blessings
a pile of ash and
vibrant orange tika
and her hand felt warm
like a hand cupped
around a breast

the next day she saw
water struggling to
break out of a spring

and finally,
pure, clean water
flowing all over ...

You are the key

Unlock me When you want to
The treasure was always Waiting for you
And even i was unaware of it

the krishna bird

she could make out a deep blue colour
and a border of the same deep, saturated red
but it was very fuzzy
and she could not make out the exact shape

there were many other sequences then
meandering and confusing

and then finally there was the bird again
clear and shining this time,
as if its feathers were underlined with jewels
a rich, shining blue - indigo - black
were its feathers
and a dark, creamy, lustrous red lined them

it looked at her with glittering black eyes
wisely, steadily, as if it was prompting her
to understand something

**

she googled it, as was her wont
and found that birds are a symbol
of knowledge, wisdom, and freedom

hmm, she said
the message must be really important
because it really struggled to come to me
trying once, failing to manifest
before finally appearing in its full glory


**

randomly she picked up a book
by a childhood favourite writer
that she had not read in ages

there was a story about a whistling thrush
a bird that sings sweet songs,
said the story,
because it imitates
the music of krishna himself

on an impulse she googled
the whistling thrush
because she wanted to see
what the krishna bird looked like

and there it was on her screen,
the bird of her dreams
bright and glittering blue

oh yea? he said
maybe it means you should heed
the knowledge that krishna has to share

**

guess what, he said
i am learning a new instrument
the lower notes are so soft
that it has altered my whole personality
my way of thinking and responding to people
just by blowing on it,
i am more soft, more calm
everyone should learn to play the bansuri,
he said
no wonder krishna liked to play it

and guess what, she said
legend has it that the little whistling thrush
sounds like Krishna's flute

**

they thought it was a message for her
while all along
the bird came into her dreams
to leave a message for him

(no one can write as well as O. Henry
but a girl can pay a tribute to her hero)

how you figure me out

is a mystery
that maybe i don't want to solve

birdfeed

you open
one door after another
and i take
one step after another

Two kinds of love

Often Conflict

One that seeks
To have you near

And One that is happy
To let your soar
And Follow your heart

And if you get
Too Much of one
You Take it for granted
It often ceases
To feel like you
And you begin to
Ache for the other

A fire that is
Not easily quenched

Spirals

There are So many ways
Of being together

You might intersect
Once in A lifetime
And go your separate ways
Changed forever

You might always
Walk in parallel
But Never meet

And What She always sought
Was to melt in Each other
Like two different colors
And make A new b color
Together

Only
She wasn't made to melt
Into another
Nor did She have enough
Nooks and crannies in her
To fit another

But to circle each other
Imbibe Each Other's spirit
And grow together,
But separately

That they can do, 

and still love, 

and still breathe

and still be happy

Meanings

Coincindences are happening
All the time
But We only See them
When We are ready

The answers are always
All around us
And We only See them
When we have
The Right questions!

Goodbye kind of person

cannot understand why
people carry old baggages

consciosness, losing of

she came home and found herself
unable to stop from
pinching and kicking and tearing
at her own flesh

she might keep her hands still
but her toes pinched her calves
dug in deep ridges

and she might keep those still too
but then her whole body trembled
shook and chattered

she might shackle  it down
keep everything still as a stone
but then her heart beat wildly
her blood thundered and
her skin erupted in boils

***

it might stop
if she spoke out loud
what was troubling her

her own deepest
fears and desires

but her mind
kept running away
from the thorns of that hurt
kept looking away
from the ravine
where she had buried them

***

there was no nowhere to go


***

there was only death
or oblivion

***

and so she chose the latter
that came in a bottle

***

much later she was to see
everywhere she went
people like herself

people who, unable to look
the world in the eye
chose masks

some masks were god like
and when they spoke,
they spoke out the things
they would not have dared to
with their eyes open

***

only a few knew
that the mask
was not the solution
taking it off
and looking the world
in the eye would have
eased their burden

***

only, the world is
usually
not so forgiving

***

when she can look
the world in the eye
that is when she
will have no need
for intoxication

at night

her heart rests safe
under the wings
of an angel

day dreams

did you dream of me?
you might ask
or you may say
that my dreams contain
nothing about us

and i will tell you
there are some dreams
to be seen with open eyes

the kumari

a girl child's feminine energies

asexual,
but full of latent powers of creation

#radiant #powerful #wise #blessed

safety pins hold the world together

the girl who pinned up her clothes
because she was too shy to ask for new ones

**

it's easy to vegetate
it's easy to blame the world
for your sorrows
and sit back and do nothing
it's easy to let the world
defeat you
that's what lazybones do

**

but she wanted out
she wanted happiness

**

and she decided that
that she is not going to
let the world defeat her

**

if it meant doing things
she never thought she could
if it meant pushing herself
over the edge
and in front of a train
she would

**

because defeat was foreign to her

Tom Bombadill

Beyond his simple facade
Lay hidden vast worlds of knowledge
about the hills and the forests and lakes
that he lived in

here he was king
here h was wise
and yet outside of it,
he was nothing

his world of calm and peace
could protect everyone
for a few moments
but would not withstand
the dark lord's attacks
nor could he extend
his protection beyond
what he already knew and loved

**

like a little lake
pure and clear
too small to water the world

but then self sufficient
so that it doesn't
need the world either

**

the world I try to make
the person  I try to be

**

because the world is too big
too unfriendly
and it is just foolish
to try and be everywhere

**

a sanctuary
holds great power within
though it may break into pieces
if it tries to expand

unlocking doors

you may talk of things beautiful
stars and clouds and rain and the heavens
or of things poetic and mysterious
life and fate and destiny and dreams
or of things totally mundane
ennui and dust and drudgery

and yet with every word
unravel one more knot
move one more block aside
and let me breathe easier
open one more door
and let me see
the trees and lakes and skies

you are the key

Unlock me When you want to
The treasure was always 

Waiting for you
And even i was unaware of it

Atlantis

A world that was once
swallowed up by the ocean
hides mystries and treasures
of untold splendours

Moss had grow over
its glittering statues
and mud has buried
its bustling towns

but after eons
the spirits that lay exhausted in it
are coming to life


something is stirring
the right time has come
they were not dead,
just biding their time
waiting to regain their strength

right now it is a secret
a secret heart beating
in the middle of the ocean

soon the city will rise to the surface
and shine in all its glory
as it is supposed to 

- G

furies that follow us

it is true that if one disaster strikes you
it is going to strike you again
and again and again

maybe it is luck, maybe it is fate
or maybe you relinquish
your hold on things,
bowing to the inevitability
that it will happen again

in any case,
the same thing will strike you
many many times

so that you can get it right
the last time

and it is up to you
whether you learn, and grow
each time it happens
and break the chain
when you are able to

or whether you
let it flood you away

blue bird

feathers of a deep,
mesmerizing blue sheen
bordered with liquid red
glittering as if there were
jewels underneath the layers

eyes wise
shining, steady,
looking at me

a message of #knowledge
#wisdom #freedom #love

Cautious eyes

Now peep out from
Walled fortresses

the illusive truth. or the truthof illusions

like trying to see
solid form through smoke

like looking at june flowers
reflected in a lake

if you touched it,
it would disappear in ripples
to know its truth
you would have to look at it
from afar

**

from afar you would see
the colours deeper,
and the truth of itever hidden by the
heavy transparency of water
that tinged it

**

they lived in half truth
and half shadows
half known and half
that could never be known

**

"for it is ever the way of witches 

with any two things 

to care for the more mysterious of the two"

**

and if in the pursuit 

of things unknown

this life will be spent,

then let it

रहस्यमयी सत्य, वा सत्यको रहस्य

कुहिरो र हुस्सुको बीचबाट
कसैको आकार ठम्याउन खोजेजस्तो

शान्त तलाउमा देखिएको
वसन्तमा फुलेको फूलको प्रतिबिम्ब जस्तो


टाढाबाट हेर्दा रंग अझै गाढा भएजस्तो

नजिक गएर छुँदा आकृति हराईहाल्ने

त्यसको सत्य थाहा पाउन
टाढैबाट हेर्नुपर्ने
तर पानीभित्र त्यो
आधी साँचो आधी छाँया जस्तो
त्यसको आकृति सधैं
पानीमा रंगिएको जस्तो


आधी जाने जस्तो लाग्ने
आधी कहिल्यै जानेर नसकिने


र जे छ जानेर नसकिने
जेलिएका ती धागाहरु 
फुकाउँदै नियाल्दै

जिन्दगी यदि बित्छ भने
बिताईदिन मन लाग्ने जस्तो