Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Scrabble

She was making a word
That was not in the dictionary
It was our hero's name

That's not a valid word, i said

Let's make it count
For us, she said

And i wouldn't because
It was against
The rules of the game

Why did i value the game
Above her friendship?

Because i was good at it
And wanted to win?

Because i did not know
That rules can
(And sometimes should)
Be broken?

Because i knew the rules,
And the game was in control
As long as i did,
And if i lost it i would lose control
And i was scared of the unknown?

But i do know i lost
A little bit of her love that day
And so i  continued to lose
Little bits of love
As time passed,

Winning the battle and losing the war
In the great battlefield of life

visions

Like i opened a window
And vast, pleasant
Beautiful vistas
Appeared in front of me
Like gently blowing breeze
 
And i opened my arms
To welcome them


(thinking of #katechopin)

Old child

In her innocence there was a gravitas
And later in her wisdom there was a naivete

At every age, she retained
The curious mixture of
Childhood and old age
 
That gave her 
The peculiar appearance
Of an old child

Saturday, January 21, 2017

As you talk to me

Glassy stare
Twitchy feet

I long to go back
To the world within

You might think
I don't care about you
And i don't, at the moment

Because nothing else is
As important as
Trying to calm
The raging tornado within

The effort might
Make me pass out
As it often has in the past
And u might think
It is simply dehydration
But i know better
It is a ghost that
I struggle to lay
A skeleton that i
Struggle to keep
Inside the closet
That it threatens to break

It is a demon that
I am just learning
Exists
Though of course it has
Been here forever
Sleeping, dozing
A baby growing up,
Feeding on my
Voracious appetite
For knowledge
And turning on me

It's threatening
To leak out of my mouth
And eyes
So i must keep it down,
I cannot speak to you

Even though i wish you
The best of life

You might think i don't love you
But in fact i m just too busy
Trying to slay a hydra
That grows ten heads
With my every effort
To slash one

#depression
#memories
#itisgone
#ihavesurvived
#thoughthehydrastilllurks
#bidingitstime

Thursday, January 19, 2017

When will it stop?

We all shrink
To fit your personality
Squeeze into corners
To make sure there is
Not a single scratch on you

Wednesday, January 18, 2017