great expectations

trying to take the next step forward
sure, there were anxieties on both ends

but still, she was dumbfounded
by his question that seemed to put
the entire weight of his expectations
on her, and to bear nothing of it himself

if i come to See ypu, will i be happy?

he asked
and he did not ask, what do you want?

Should We meet?

Which of us Should travel?
if i come to See you, will you be happy?

it seemed odd to her that
the steps she thought were obvious
were not so obvious to him,
and that he had doubts, when she had none
or at least, none that she expected him to solve

as if, when he said he loved her
he was not saying that he cared about her
but that he wanted her to be the one
who made him happy

And When He had only two minutes for her

He would not ask How She was

Or even say How He was

But request her

Tell me something that Will make me feel good

I have So very little time, darling 

As if She was his factory of Good feelings

And Nothing else about her mattered

and when they fought
he would not say how much he missed her
or how sorry he was,
or even ask her why thought
the way she did
he would instead say
i am miserable, i have not eaten
how can you do this to me?

as if her function in his life
was to keep his life smoothly functioning ....

Post script:
And after they were parted, bitterly
he would call her on a random day
that she had no reason to mark on her calendar
and ask ruefully, it's my birthday today,
can you imagine how i must have felt?