diteez

poems

Saturday, March 17, 2018

We had a story

And that's all we had

Posted by diti at 2:29 AM 1 comment:
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A poet lives here.
No sadness may
cross this threshold.
- Pablo Neruda

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poets

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    Hello Bhusita Didi! I have been meaning to write to you, but my shyness around being open in public spaces like this kept me from doing so. It’s been a long time since I spoke with you at Paleti, and I cannot simply express how meaningful that experience was. I have not stopped listening to “Ful, jindagi Ra jun” ever since, and I know that this piece of art will follow me in every corridor of my life. Studying Maths is my way of understanding life, and the way things make sense in this realm, it tells me that one can see patterns in chaos. To me, art was never accidental. I used to be amazed studying how Pollock’s paintings spoke of maths, how mandalas were so mathematically interesting; even in poetry, there is mathematics. When you mentioned that if not literature, you would have studied pure mathematics, a part of me felt so intrinsically seen and understood. I cannot even explain what that meant to me. There is this line written by Maria Rilke: Live the questions for now. Living questions for all these years of my life, writing stories and poems in pieces just to get a sense of myself, I often wonder if meaning is a hoax I am chasing. How to live with uncertainty whole life, I cannot fathom. And when these questions become existential, something we cannot rationally engage with, something that defies the utmost logical self, something nobody’s mathematics would be able to answer, where does one go?
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diti
reach me here diti.vashistha [at] gmail [dot] com
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