contraception commotion

The raging discussion
was about who should buy condoms

(this only applies to women
who have the choice
and are not forced to take pills
or insert an IUD so that
the man isn't discomfited by rubber)

on the one hand
why shouldn't women buy them?
why should women feel ashamed
of saying condom out loud?
why are we made to feel ashamed
of even saying sanitary pad out loud?

i would like to graduate from a girl
who says 'tyo dinus na'
and goes red in the face
and has the sanitary pads
wrapped in newspapers
and hides it in the depths of her bag
to the girl who says confidently
"chocolate flavor"

but then again why should women
have that extra responsibility?
they have a lot to worry about anyway
and men have just one job
to make sure she does not get pregnant

maybe i will be able to say
chocolate flavor
out loud and confidently
but still i would be ashamed
that my man makes me do the donkey work
i would feel so much more cared for
if he has the sense and the responsibility
to think of me and care about me enough
to make sure i am safe

i wish i could say
to each woman her own contraceptive
and end it there

but the bigger question here is
who is the feminist?
what would a feminist do?
a feminist of course
would not be ashamed of
shopping for her own contraceptives
or doing something considered
'a man's job'
having a man do it may be considered
old fashioned and chivalrous

but then again feminism doesn't mean
letting men off the hook
yes, women can do everything that men can
earning money, building homes, parenting,
everything that is socially mandated

but then biology is beyond sociology
and this is biology
just as a woman is responsible for
childbirth and conception
why isn't a man responsible for
contraception
after all, though they are equal partners
it is the woman who suffers
if it goes wrong
so as equal partners why doesn't the man
think of the woman's extra burden
and be extra responsible?

and then again,
to each woman her own contraceptive
and to each woman
her own feminism as well

Post script: biased perhaps by the
cringe worthy memory of a man saying
"i was too ashamed to ask for it"