the girl child

Fierce warriors celebrate 

a victory in the courtyard

raising their weapons above their heads
and dancing in a circle
They were boasting about killing many people

Two men come in, 

bearing a girl high on their shoulder

A smiling, grinning girl 

They put her down 

and she started walking

Dressed in a plain orange sari and blouse 

with a light golden border

She had tied it up dhoti style between her leg 

so that she could walk easily

As if she was dressed for battle

She carried no weapons, 

but I knew she could lead a war

She was powerful, even a little bit arrogant 

in the knowledge of her own power

I instantly new that she was the kumari

 

But she was not like the demure, 

docile little girls dressed up as kumaris today

She was radiant, 

and the glow came from her power, 

the power of a little girl's sexuality, 

latent, not flowered yet, 

but holding the promise of an entire creation

She knew her powers, 

which made her awesome to behold.

She walked towards me, purposefully

Between us was a mound of ash

on one side covered in bright orange

Vermilion, I presumed. 

 

She scooped up some in her hand, 

and offered it to me

I accepted it in my hands, 

and there it a lay, 

a miniature of what was on the ground

A mound of ash 

covered with vermilion on one side

The realisation that 

this was not a little girl 

but a grown woman in a little girl's body

The ashes, of Shivaji

and Kumari, an incarnation of Durga, 

it all fit together

 

She was Shakti, 

in the human form of kumari

She was the entire feminine energies 

of the universe who gave me a prasad.

If I do not believe in god

and shakti or kumari, 

how do I take it, 

as an atheist person?

 

Kumari, a symbol of 

latent feminine energies

and Shakti, the entire 

feminine energies of the universe

gave me a prasad

Bright vermilion over ashes

 

A new life full of feminine energies 

over the ashes of an old one

 

It is time, she said. 

to awaken your 

feminine energies again

Possession

Having grown to reason
It is difficult to feel

essense

focus on your work, says Krishna
and do not think of the results,

but how would i work

if i am not motivated by

what i would achieve, 

I would ask

and krishna would tell you that

attachment to results
takes away your devotion to work
and besides,
you cannot control the results
you cannot control
how your actions are going to
impact the world

But how would I work?

With passion, or as duty?

Krishna says your work will be pure

if you leave personal interests behind

So you have to leave passion behind

for passion after all is personal attachment

And do your duty

how will i save myself

from being misguided

like arjuna who killed millions

maybe some will take it upon themselves

to kill people

or maybe not go to that extreme but

do things that harm others, 

considering it their duty

in that case,

think about what will benefit the universe

every person has a role to play

and sometimes, 

what might seem like a bad thing from near

may be good for the universe

if you look from afar

it is the duty of a butcher to kill animals

but even though it takes life, 

it is necessary for sustenance

and the butches must do his work with devotion

so that humans are benefitted

always do your duty with devotion

and that should be enough

what is this devotion that you talk of?

to what or whom should I be devoted?

and how will that save me from the 

moral implications of my negative actions?

the devotion is to Krishna, of course

but what if I am atheist?

do I really need to be devoted to a deity

to do my duty well?

No, you don't 

Krishna is only a symbol

For the power that runs the universe

think of it as the almighty force of the universe

Which is beyond your comprehension

And it will do what it will do, 

beyond your control

perform every action

with your devotion to the goodness of this

almighty universe in mind

and do only what will benefit it

and yet in doing do

if i am not motivated by passion

then I will be bored by what I do

or worse, feel my duty is a burden 

and give it up

to work for the happiness of the universe

is also one of your duties

and for that, you too need to be happy

so you do the work that makes you happy

and also benefits the universe

when you are not working

make your you spend your time on

making your heart and soul happy

and do it with the same devotion

that you give to work

for making the universe joyful

is also your karma

what if there is a conflict

between what makes me happy

and what makes universe happy

If your society benefits, 

then you directly benefit from it

since you too are a part of it

The final aim is to fulfill everyone's desires...

Of this big machine you too are a part

And if you are sad and sick,

that needs to be repaired too  

Hence it is your duty to be hale and hearty

In body, heart, mind and spirit 

Maybe Krishna said all of this

Or maybe he said only some of it

And we understood more than what he said

Anyhow, to keep working without caring for results

To work with passion and get better everyday

And to do work that benefits the universe

Is not such a bad idea

And I have a feeling Krishna would approve

Of developing your own logic

To fit the situation

bossy

Her friends did not have it easy
They not only had to
read the books she liked
But also like them
just as much as she did
And to feel exactly
as much excitement as her
about every little twist
Follow its rambling mysteries
through all its mazes
not get tired by its
soporific elements
and be enlightened at the end
exactly as she is


yes, tall orders
and yes,
very difficult to follow

but she lived in oblivio
of how much it bothered
the people around her

she only wanted
to please herself

but one fine day
she realised that
trespassing other people's
boundaries to please herself
was not allowed
was not right

she would have to learn
to stop doing that

so she would rescind
the octopus tentacles
that she sent out
to hug people to suffocation

instead,
coil them around herself
and suffocate herself instead

so much so that
she bled in ink

a voice

that blows out smoke rings
walks up hills
flies across the skies

echoes in caves
and cascades down with waterfalls

and if it seemed to taper off
and move away
i would gladly follow it
to the ends of the earth

हलुका भारी

शान्त समुद्रभित्र सल्बलार्इरहेका
जीवनहरू जस्तै
मनभित्र सधैं थिए यी भावना
तर अदृश्य, अपरिचित

कहिलेकाहिँ अचानक
एक झलक देखिन्छ
धेरैपछि बादल फाटेर
अाकाश खुलेझैं
र टाढाटाढाका पहाडहरू
स्पष्ट देखिएझैं

बादलले फेरी
छाेप्दै लुकाउँदै गर्दा
म सार्छु एक एक पाइला
अन्धकारमा 
र जति पाइला सार्छु
त्यति आफ्नै उज्यालाेले
देख्दै जान्छु

यो हो मेरो सपनाको संसार

मनभित्रकाे याे धर्ती देखिसक्न
शायद लाग्छ एक जुनी

तै पनि
लिएर हिँड्छु सधैं आफैंसँग
याे सिंगाे कल्पनाकाे संसार
रंगीबिरंगी यी चाहनाहरू

हेर्दा देखिन्छन् निकै भारी
तर लाग्छन् धेरै हलुका
बाेक्छु म खुशी खुशी

आज छाेड्दैछु तिम्रै दैलाेमा
चिन्छाै कि तिमीले भनेर

थाहा छ यहाँ छन् सुरक्षित
मेरा यी सपनाहरू

काँचकाे टुक्रा जस्तै
एक प्रहारमा भत्किने
धुवाँकाे रंगमा हराउँदै बिलाउने
नाजुक यी सपनालाई
हुन त म आफैं जोगाउँछु

तै पनि तिमीलाई दिंदैछु
विरानाे याे संसारमा
तिमीले बस्,

चिन्छौ कि भनेर
बुझ्छौ कि भनेेर

Dreams

Just like I pass on
A book or A song
I wish I could drop off
A bag of dreams
For you to peruse
At your convenience