i try to pretend
that life is normal,
livable and complacent
without you
but the damn shaking foot
always gives me away
(sometimes the nail biting,
sometimes the rigidly curled toes,
sometimes an inncoent piece of paper
unkmowingly torn to shreds,
always, moist and trembling hands,
and in extremities,
when I have noticed and quelled all else,
a deep, nauseating pain
in limbs that I did not even know existed)
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