Measuring life by men

Growing up feminist,
You see all these women
Suffering because of men, marriage
And you think
You don't need men

And yet, as you grow up
Why is it that only the memories
Of the moments when
Men were kind to you
Stand out vividly
Complements
Glitter like jewels
In the boring strand of life
Touches
Glow like coals
Even the memory of which
Scorches like flames

You try to deny it all
Try to convince yourself
That you don't need men
To be happy

You try to find everything
In family, friends
Work, social work
And yet,
As you look back
You can only measure life
In men

It is only they
Who give you confidence

You feel guilty
Like you betrayed
Other women,
Your ideals,
Your beliefs

It takes so long
To reconcile both
And realize that
That it is not the men
That matter
It is love
It is warmth

If you had loved
Women
The same way
You would have had
The same vivid memories
Of love
To keep you company
Give you confidence

Yes, you can survive without men
If that is what you like
But you don' have to,
And you shouldn't
If you don't want to