dancer to the drums

That day when she was making tea
and felt the world swoon around her
but it was she who swooned

all morning
she
had been
on her mind

that fateful day when she had
come into the house
not realizing she had been dripping blood
all through the yard, the front door
and the sacrosanct kitchen

she had been too young,
they whispered around
too young to know
what had killed her mother
though she had seen it all,
and had wailed for days.
she remembered nothing, 
they whispered

she did not correct them
for she did not want them to take away
the little she had left
of her bright and beautiful face
of her desperate last words
of her eyes like deep pools
of her rasping breath
as she let it out for the last time
of her wails
that seemed to pierce the sky
but not hearts

often that rasping breath
roused her from sleep
and often those tears
clouded her own eyes
and often her dreams of those deep pools
followed her into her waking hours
until she could not tell
which was which,
and swooned, lost into those wails
only she could hear
because the world without it
had nothing for her

as the doctor took her pulseand found an extraordinarily fast heartbeat
for no reason
and the nurse drew her blood
and found no contaminants
she continued to lose her senses
again and again
be lost to the world outside
for the world within,
the only one that made sense to her

When the drums sounded,
she lost her herself again
she swooned again,
somehow the drums seemed to make it
easy to evoke her memory
but this time it was different
no one put a damp cloth on her forehead
no one took her pulse and poked her with needles
as she spoke, she sang

i do remember, she said
i feel her pain, she said
i know who did it, she said
and i will have their blood

he resisted, the one with the big club
but she named him and
all accusing eyes turned to him
and years of resentment welled up
she resisted, the one with the claws
but she was named as well
and suddenly everyone remembered
the spells she had cast on
all manners of good people

go, she said, go and repent
else i will have your blood
else she will have your blood

and when the drums stopped beating
they had all bowed down to her


When the drums sounded,
they listened to her

When the drums sounded,
they could not make fun of her
could not foist shit into her mouth
and turn her out of her village,
they could not beat her black and blue,
and leave her to bleed to death

When the drums sounded,
she was a goddess

and so she lost her herself
and so she danced,
when the drums sounded