Walled inside waters

Back when i was
First asked the question
Close your eyes and think of the ocean
What feelings does it inspire in you?
Describe it in three words

I thought of green
A light, foamy, sea green
Warm to touch and clear to sight
I thought of miles and miles of sun
I thought of freedom, smiles and happiness

That was before i learnt
That ocean was  a metaphor for life
For that was not how i saw life
But perhaps that was how
I wanted life to be

Now i cannot of
That kind of ocean any more
My mind conjures up a blue image
Ice cold, steely blue waters
Thunderstorms, never ending chill
And worst of all, nowhere to go

Where once i saw possibilities
I see only inevitabilities
That you cannot escape from

(And my wishes
Have crept into my dreams
Where i saw a wide open house....
A house, they say
Reflects your sense of self
And this was a house
Where i could do anything
Spend summer nights happily
Sleeping outside
I know that sense of possibilities
Is the life i want for myself
Not one wherr i feel
Walled in and cornered...
But apparently i have lost
That power of flight
In my waking hours
They exhaust me so much at daytime
That they creep in at night
To remind me that there is more to life...)