Hungry

Come not so close to me, 

she said

This i will not allow

This i will forbid

 

But what can I do, 

he said

I have so many thoughts

So many

all about you

These thoughts, she said

Watch them from afar

Thoughts are just thoughts, 

after all

unless you act on them

Watch the thoughts bubbles form

Keep watching them, 

do no react

And they  will burst on their own

Like bubbles on clear water

I will try, he said 

And so

Whenever he saw her

he simply watched her

And watched himself wathing her

From his mind's eyes 

He saw that he wanted to touch her

But this he did not do

 

See, he said, 

I di dnot try to touch you

I did not even come over

to talk to you

 

Yes, that is true, she said

But then why do you

Follow me with your eyes

Like the sunflower follows the sun

 

This I will not do, 

he told her

And the next time they met, 

He passed the test

 

I saw you passing and whizzing

From the corner of my eyes

And yet, did not look at you, 

he said

That is true, she said

But then, why, when I speak

Do you stop listening

To everyone else around you?

He bit his tongue

This I should not do, 

he said to himself

You spoke, 

But I continued listening

to the dear people around me,

he said

That is true, she said

But why did you spill your tea

And drop your books

When I spoke

 

He clenched his jaws

This shall not happen again, 

he vowed
 

You see, I held on

To everything I had 

Even when you were nearby, 

he said to her

I clenched my fists so tight

 

Perhaps too tight, she said

Is that what

Led you to tremble

When I passed you?

 

He cast his eyes down, 

And said, from now on,

You will not know

How I feel

You will not see

The slightest nod from me

 

He kept his hands to himself

When she was near

Carefully putting down

Whatever he held

Keeping his attentions

Firmly fixed on the 

Face and voice before him

Never even lifting an eyebrow

When she was around

He would not speak

For fear his voice would crack

Even taking care to keep 

His mouth firmly closed

So that his trembling lip

Would not give him away

See, he said, 

See

There is nothing 

For you to see

She nodded

And turned away

And he wished 

She would have asked

One more question

So where did it go?

The words he would have spoken

The smile that would have 

lit up his face

His senses that would have

leaped up at the first sight of her

His eyes that would have 

Followed her everywhere

Where did they go?

 

Where did it go?

He wanted her to ask 

The heart that would have 

Exhausted itself 

Trying to find what pleases you 

Where did they all go? 

Since they could not 

Go where they wanted to?

 

I still startle

When I hear you speak

Out of my sight

He wanted to say

You eyes, and my ears, 

and all my attention

Are still yours

But, if you ask me to listen

To the person in front of me

That I will do, too

so I do both things

Now my voice does not crack

But my heart does

From the effort of 

Keeping my voice silent

My hands don't tremble any more

But my very soul does 

From your nearness

And my mind

That you asked me to watch

For bubbles

And wait for them to burst

That mind of mine

Is so full of bubbles

Of your thoughts, 

And none of them burst,

But keep growing 

Every day

Until I have 

Nowhere to keep them....